Boyfriend doesn’t want to have sex

Im sorry this is gunna be really long but please give me some advice.

So I been with my boyfriend for a few years , we have our fights here and there and we’re each other’s opposites . The sex is amazing , I orgasm multiple times with him and I absolutely adore and love him .

I’ve been on edge lately I think it’s bc my period is due in a few days .

Like 2 days ago me and my bf were about to have sex and he reaches for a condom ( I’m on birth control ) and I was like no I don’t want that because honestly guys condoms make sex painful for me idk why but they always give me this weird dry rubbing feeling in a really bad way . And he was like oh well I don’t wanna have a baby and I’m like no duh Sherlock me either that’s why I have been taking the BC .

Idk I know it’s going to sound really stupid bc the entire argument was stupid . But it made me feel suspicious of him bc he never does that . It made me feel like he thought I was gross or something or maybe he’s sleeping w another person and he just idk .. honestly birth control makes me really extra and crazy I have anxiety as it is and it’s made it worse I’m thinking of stopping taking it complete .

Point is we stopped before he even got in me bc I said no I don’t wanna use those condoms and he put it on anyway tried to get me into it again and I said no so he got dressed and ignored me . And I was like wtf is your problem ..

Eventually he got all nice again and we had sex w out the condom , and it was mad quick and basically felt like he was just doing it for the sake of doing it so out of character for him he’s usually very deeply passionate physically . And I asked him if he just did it to get it over w and he said that I peer pressured him into it ...

Anyway our work schedules are opposites so I hardly see him . The days I have time he doesn’t and when he gets off work I go to work . I’m seeing him on Sunday and I want to have sex bc I have a high sex drive and I just wanna be close to him but I’m worried I’m gunna get my period before then ...

Before you all attack me in the comment si just wanna day this , sex is a difficult subject for me I was raped when I was 15 and my virginity was stolen from me . Up until this relationship and this man I haven’t been comfortable w sex and now I absolutely love it . It’s hard to say this but it’s the only way I feel really close and loved by him .

But he’s the opposite he’s very much the cuddly type , he’s very into snuggling and hugs and kisses . He couldn’t care less if we have sex or not he’s never focused on sex like most men and hes never pressured me into having sex .. he’s not even really I to phone sex or sexting or nudes ..

I’m really sexually frustrated right now and when I try to talk to him about it he dodges the subject and it’s frustrating ... the night of the argument he said that Sex is all I care about and that I should go fuck someone else ... he was being really awful and I’m annoyed but I also think it was my fault for not complying w him wanting to use the condom...

Honestly I don’t even know what to think , I’m worried he’s not attracted to me anymore he says that when he thinks of me or sees photos of me he sees me as cute and as beautiful not really in a sexual way and that he prefers that ... but it makes me feel like I’m not sexy or woman enough idk ..

Guys help me calm my thoughts please 😭

I just wanna have amazing sex w my amazing bf before I get my period I feel miserable I never see him and so we don’t have sex as often as I want it .. he said sometimes he doesn’t want sex at all and that he prefers to cuddle .. which ok is cute but i have needs too and he just doesn’t listen ... I sort of feel like sex is in his terms when he wants it not when I do and that really bothers me . He’s 22 and I’m 21 , we’re young I just feel like somethings wrong w me and that’s why sex isn’t a big deal to him ..