Hi all! I don’t think there’s really a right or wrong answer to this, but I’m looking to hear other people’s opinions because I am conflicted...

My boyfriend and I have been together since we were 16. When we were 18 (my senior year of HS and his freshman year of college) he proposed to me and bought me a beautiful marquise cut ring. We were totally in love and serious, but didn’t plan on getting married until we both graduated from college.

We ended up going to the same college (we had the same very specific major and this was the place to be for it). In my first semester, I tried to ask him for some space so that I could make my own friends and build my own life. I have always been very independent. Being 19 year olds, we did not communicate well at all and just ended up getting in a huge fight about it and broke up. It was only 3 months, but it was pretty devastating to have to give the ring back. When we got back together, we agreed to not be engaged since we wouldn’t get married anytime soon and to take the pressure off.

Now my boyfriend is finishing up his masters degree this semester and I am working full time at a job I have wanted since I was in high school. We have lived together for about 1.5 years in an awesome house in a city that we love with my two cats.

Because he is finishing his masters degree this semester, we have begun to talk about marriage as a serious possibility within the next two years. Yesterday he told me that he kept the ring he gave me all those years ago and wanted to know how I felt about it. The truth is that I am not sure. It is very sentimental, but (this sounds silly) it feels kind of tainted because we broke up. It also doesn’t really totally feel like me anymore. Part of me wants it, but part of me would prefer he sell it and buy something less expensive. I am an artist and my hands are always covered in paint. I don’t see myself actually wearing thousands of dollars of jewelry because it will definitely get dirty or I will take it off and lose it.

I found a beautiful lab sapphire ring made by a local artist that I love and am thinking that might be the way to go. Not only is it way less expensive, but it is also MUCH more my style. I think I would feel more comfortable with that ring instead of the old one. I know he couldn’t get back the full cost of what he paid for the first ring, but I’m sure he could get back enough to buy both of my rings and his own!

He also said he doesn’t really want to get rid of it even if I do get a new ring. It is sentimental and suggested I could have that as my “nice” ring and another much less expensive ring for everyday wear or just to change it up. That makes me feel a little guilty because I am not frivolous with money, but ultimately this is something I will wear everyday and I don’t want to feel weird about it. I don’t know!!

What do you think??? I need to hear other people’s opinions!