I'm coming to the realization that I suck and I don't need to breathe the same air as everyone. I literally suck at being a mom. I more suck at being in relationship. I even suck at being a human. I know this sounds real selfish considering I have a child. I really don't know why I decided to have another baby after losing the first one. I should have fell off the face of the earth then instead of thinking God had another plan for me. You know what's crazy is when everyone else is thinking they are alone or even feeling like they don't matter I'm always there to life them up and tell them it's okay and it will get better. But when I want to talk about things I get yelled at about what I did or what I'm doing is wrong. My child means so much to me and I'm trying to think about how selfish everything would be if I leave him alone in this world. But I also think about how better off he would be without this crazy person his life.