This is probably the 4th post I've made but haven't gotten any really good advice. I have been in a relationship for 2 years. We are engaged and less than 2 months away from signing on a house. When we first started dating he lied to me about having his alcoholism under control. Unfortunately that wasn't the case.He lied to me about drinking and hid alcohol in my apartment before I moved in with him. and promised it would never happen again. We have lived together for a year and in the last year (without even trying) I have found hidden alcohol at least once every 2-3 months but have found it more than that. Every single time it's my fault. My fault he is drinking, my fault he is hiding it, my fault he doesn't want help. At this point obviously I love him, I care about him but I don't trust him. He doesn't communicate and his anger is getting out of control. The other day he tried to tell me I shouldn't get a job (I just finished my degree and working on getting my registration done so I have credentials). I feel stuck and feel like for myself I need to get out of the relationship. It isn't healthy and I know that, but I live with him, I have no job and I've been homeless once. it's the middle of winter and below zero where I live. I also have a 3 year old and this guy is all she has known as a father figure. I feel like my failed relationship has set her up for devastation. I wish he would agree to get help, couples counseling or something but he doesn't see how horribly toxic he is. I love this man more than I have ever loved a man. It is unconditional, but I feel like there is still a line and he crossed it too many times. He is very good with my daughter. He loves her, she loves him. I don't want to throw away 2 years of my life. I don't want her to lose him either. I need clarity. People who relate to this situation and give good advice. I'm very old school even though we aren't married I'm the kinda person who would keep trying to fix this forever and be unhappy forever. idk what to do. **edit** I shouldn't have said that he isn't doing anything at all. He started AA although all of an hour ago if you'd asked me if I thought he would go past the first meeting I would've said no, because he put off going to a meeting this weekend. My brother is 1 year sober and told me if he doesn't go at least every other day for support and work the program he will relapse. My brother still goes to at least 1 meeting a day somedays he goes to 2 or 3 meetings a day. Now my fiance went to rehab before we dated which is why I didn't think this was going to be an issue. I see who he can be. He is having a hard time staying sober. Not physically with withdrawals but emotionally he has been all over the place. when I wrote this it was right after he sbapped at me for just walking into the kitchen. He turned around within a half hour decided to go to a meeting and started apologizing and cuddling up to me even though I didn't say a word to him. He has a lot of things he needs to get through before we will be good.