Prayers needed ❤ UPDATED

I was baptised into my current church by my now husband, almost 3 years ago. During those 3 years we spent 14 months away in a long distance relationship, he is from America and I am from England. I then went through a visa process, came over, and we married last June 20th (exactly 2 years 1 day after the day we met) - when you find the one, you just know. ❤ But recently I have been having such a hard time with my faith. I am 22 and my husband is 23, he is very religious, so the fact that I am having doubts is causing him pain and I hate it. I know that I was so full of faith and so adamant that the church and my belief was true, 3 years ago, but for the last few months I have been struggling very hard to find that feeling again. We're still going through a visa process which is very stressful, what makes it worse is that I cannot work until I have the authorisation from the immigration officers to do so. So we are scraping by, quite literally, to pay our bills alone, the fact I suffer from BPD, depression and anxiety makes everything ten times worse, plus the fact I am roughly 5,000 miles away from my own family. I just need help, from any of you as to what I can do to get that feeling back! I don't know whether God is testing me, but I have had horrible trials in my lifetime, I just need a break... but there's always something that comes cracking down on me and I just don't understand why... I don't know what to do anymore. 😪😞

UPDATE** I've been in many new relationships, and the feeling was distinctly different when I met my husband to how I felt with others, in the beginning. I know all about the chemicals that are released in your brain when you begin a new relationship. All I can say is that when people tell you that you know you have found the person you are going to marry, they're telling the truth. For those of you who haven't experienced that, I'm not expecting you to believe it, only to believe that I am 'young and naive' 🤷🏻‍♀️ Also, by this post I mean that I am having doubts and I am struggling with my FAITH and with God and moving forward there. Not with my husband 😅 I may have not been very clear so I do apologise! Thanks for all of your help everyone! ❤