Fairness?

My SO has no issues about verbally abusing members of my immediate family behind their backs. In fact, whenever hey are brought up, he makes it quite clear how much they disgust him.

To be honest, they don’t like him very much but to his face they are incredibly respectful and kind. When we were first dating, my brother and father did make things difficult and did not treat him with the respect he now receives. They aren’t perfect, sometimes I feel like they deserve this, As they also gave me a lot of grief.

Despite all of this, it hurts me to the core when I hear my SO talks about them no negatively. His family aren’t perfect, yet I’ve kept my opinions to myself and respected everyone. He does have one friend, whom I’m not very fond of, who I believe makes my SO drink to excessive every time they go out leaving me to worry about him every night he comes home late and is so sick he vomits most of the night. He’s the same guy who lost my SO and his team their jobs because he didn’t do his properly, and consistently hits on his friends partners when he is intoxicated. Despite all of this, my SO believes he’s the nicest and greatest human, and if I dare say one thing negatively, I get yelled at, get accused of being poor form for talking negatively about him.

Is this fair? Am I being unreasonable? Should I be putting up with his shit talks of my family when he can’t take the same back with his friends?