Sorry for my English, it’s my 2nd language, but I’ll try my best.

I’m 16 years old and my brother has been my guardian since I was 11. Our mom remarried after we move to the US and my new step dad wanted a “clean slate.” So she left me to live with my brother who had actually been the one to pay for the 3 of us to move to this country. She just left us both behind and only calls to check in sometime.

My brother is 13 years older than me, our mom had him when she was 17, so we have different fathers but I’ve always been close to him.

He doesn’t really have many rules for me to follow. As long as I get good grades and am home by 10pm on weekends or 8pm on a school night, and don’t drink or do drugs, he doesn’t really care what I do.

Anyway, 2 year ago, he started a new job that required him to travel and be out of town for 3-4 days at a time about once a month. I never really asked because in our culture it’s not a polite conversation topic even among family members.

He was able to afford a rental house instead of the little apartment we had before and he actually had extra money so I could go do fun things with my friends. So I didn’t question a good thing.

My brother gave me the sex talk when I was 13. That he hopes I wait until I’m married, but that if I want to I should tell him so he can make sure I have condoms. I wasn’t interested in it back then though.

Well a year ago I started to get curious about things like sex. I guess Im late bloomer because my friends were all doing that stuff a long time ago, but I never cared before. Well one of my friends kept bugging me about a porn movie she wanted to show me and I finally gave in.

Next time I stayed at her house, she showed it to me and I realized the actor was my brother. I made her stop the movie before anything happened in and they all clothes on still, but it really freak me out. She knew he was in it and that was why she show it to me.

I was really mad at her for trying to trick me to watch, but she said she thought I knew and was just trying to be funny.

When I go home, I told my brother what happened and he explained he had been acting in adult films for the last 2 years because he couldn’t find any good jobs in the area we were. Nobody want to hire him, so he auditioned and was accepted by a company who does these movies. It isn’t anything anyone can watch for free, they have to buy it directly from the company’s website or in a store.

He told me he would never tell me details, but that I should know it was purely professional and that it was just acting. He said I was too young to watch videos like that because I’m not 18 yet. He said when I’m 18 if I want to see those kind of videos he will tell me the name of his company so I can avoid videos produced by them.

He won’t tell me anything other than that about his job.

I told my friend what he said and she said he was a bad person because he does this for a living. She said it means he is basically a prostitute and desperate.

I dont know what to think. The things my friend said really hurt my feelings and my brother doesn’t sound like how she described him.

He’s always nice to people and he took care of me when he didn’t have to. He hasn’t had a girlfriend since we moved here so he is single, he say he more important things to worry about than a relationship. I dont think he is hurting anyone. I don’t think he would have ever told me about it on his own, my friend says that’s because he is ashamed.

I don’t know what to think. I’m really confused. Is he a bad person because of his job? He did tell me not to tell anyone, but he didn’t seem ashamed to me. Just that it was private... I’m afraid my friend will tell people at school too... i dont know how to feel about it.

Update:

Thank you all for such nice advise!

I read all you guys say and it made me think. Even before mom left, my brother pretty much raise me. I don’t know why I even question if he is a good person, I know he is. I guess it was just shock? I only find this out yesterday.

But yes, he is a good person. He is always there when I need him and I’ve never been without anything I need. He gives me good advise and helps me with my school work and things like that. He even used to braid my hair for me and learned how to paint my nails before I learn how to do it myself when I was younger. Not many brothers would do that, I know...

I will tell my friend to stop saying these things and if she do it again, I stop being her friend. If she tell people at school that is still kind of scary, but like people say in comments it pass eventually.

Thank you all again for good advice!