Feeling crushed

I have been TTC for 15 years. I really feel like I'm pregnant. I have sore nipples, nausea, constapation, hardening abdomine, hot flashes, feeling wet (like I'm going to start) and frequently urinating. Today I was supposed to start but nothing. I have done a test today and it's negative but when I put light behind it I see the line started but not much. I am ready to give up. But I want a child so bad.