Scared

I don’t know where to post stuff like this I know it’s a touchy subject for most but it’s my life and I need some advice. My ex and I have a 17-month-old son I’m trying to tell my story in the most accurate and short way so I can get the best advice. OK so my ex and I live apart I live with my father who is a truck driver was home three days a month he has his own place with two roommates who don’t do anything and my ex pays all the bills he doesn’t have a license doesn’t have a car but has a great job he has another son so he has two children I have one. So long story short we were stupid and now I’m pregnant again and he thinks our only solution is abortion because he says we don’t have our lives together I first I agreed but now I just don’t he sees it as an egg with no heartbeat but be smart we can have more children down the line don’t bring a child into this world and we don’t have our own stuff together and that makes sense but I love this little egg with no heartbeat yet because I’ve done this before so I know the reward at the end is a precious babyWho’s going to keep me up all night I’m going to be stressed out to the max I’m gonna have to go back to work right after the six weeks I’m going to be ready to pull my hair out every day but I’m going to be so in love he doesn’t see it my way and I don’t agree with his wor who’s going to keep me up all night I’m going to be stressed out to the max I’m gonna have to go back to work right after the six weeks I’m going to be ready to pull my hair out every day but I’m going to be so in love he doesn’t see it my way and I don’t agree with his way.His mother hates my guts there’s no way around that and I know that bothers him for him to have to tell his mother that a woman that she hates is pregnant by him again. I’m also terrified of my father he’s going to be very angry at me and make me feel very very bad but his mother and my father don’t matter this is our child. My ex keeps saying he will support me whatever I decide to do and I believe that but I don’t want him to ever resent my child I don’t care if he resents me we don’t want to be together I would but he doesn’t so I wouldn’t pressure him it does make me feel bad that we are having another child and he such a family man and he’s having another child with a woman that he doesn’t love and I don’t ever want him to resent the kids so that scares me and I’m going to have to move out I’m gonna have to do a lot in these nine months with no help except for from the government until I can get on my feet I had a percent but I do have a job and I do love my kids I just can’t be stressed like this and go back-and-forth with this decision every dayI realistically cannot see myself going to an abortion clinic taking a pill and killing my baby I want hundred percent can’t see myself finding a nice family and giving my child over to them I just don’t know what to do it’s eating me up every single day