Hi ladies! I don’t post very much but I am having a difficult time right now getting through each day.

This is my very first pregnancy. I was told since I was 17 I would never be able to conceive naturally if I wanted a baby. Even though that was a challenge at first, I learned to live with this fact. Now 7 years later I actually got pregnant. A true miracle. I don’t know what I could ever do to deserve this.

Because of how rare and special this situation is, I deal with almost daily anxiety that this overwhelming happiness I feel will leave me. I’m at 19 weeks and although I’m past the main timeframe for a miscarriage to happen, I know it could still happen at this time.

So far, all test have been 100% normal. I have my anatomy scan tomorrow. It’s been 4 weeks since my last visit and I’m so scared that we’re going to go in to find out the gender and they will inform us of no heartbeat. I have dreams about this happening and it breaks my soul.

I have a wonderful support system with my husband and mom who do their utmost to help me but both are idealist and almost never see the negative or realistic view of things. As you can probably tell, I’m the opposite of that.

Anyhow, I just would like to know if anyone else has dealt with these feelings and had a positive ending to it. Thank you all for taking the time to read my post.