if your husband cheated- screw the details for a minute, and even screw that part partially- and he had a baby with someone else between your children BUT you chose to take him back, at what point do you have to stop being hateful toward the other woman, who has justified their relationship for a year. who has met, and taken care of your children. who has been the love of your in-laws' lives for a year, while they hate you for still being his wife. how do you shut up, accept what it is because YOU CHOSE to forgive him, forget what has happened, and even agreed to be a step mom to their alleged child? (its not the baby's fault. he is just a baby and I will never hate him for existing) I am not asking for advice about leaving him, obviously, and I am not asking for a conversation about the circumstances- as there are too many to delve into. I simply what to know: how can I stop being hateful about her. he won't tell m about what they talk about involving the schedule we'll have with him or how their relationship is because he is tured of me being a birch about it. and at this point, I finally see what he is saying. but I don't know how to stop calling her a "homewrecking piece of shut who deserves to die alone with her broken family" because I'm hateful. she knew we were married. she already had 2 kids with another man. we have 2 kids. that was a family of 5 including their baby and the whole thing ducked up my kids because they didn't understand, and I never knew she was around them. my kids are confused on who "mommy" is and they're angry all the time ever since she showed up. I hate her. but I forgave him- ish. and I've chosen to be in this life. how do I forgive him and her and let it go?