My fiancé and I started TTC in September 2016. I got my first positive pregnancy test on April 1st, 2017. I was so excited! Unfortunately I had a miscarriage on May 9th.

I was so depressed from TTC and continually getting negative tests every month. Another failed month, another month of pieces of me dying inside. Another month of wondering what's wrong with me. Another month of seeing another friend or family member announce their pregnancy, have their baby shower or have their baby and have it eat me up inside.

I knew I was ovulating over the Christmas holidays but didn't track anything just wanted to enjoy our time together over the holidays.

My period was due on Jan 8, but it didn't come. My boobs had been sore, and I was slightly cramping but I just figured it was period symptoms and it's another failed month. Jan 9th when I woke up my lower back was killing me! I decided to just pick up a test on my way home so that I'd stop wondering and just get my disappointment out of the way while I waited for AF.

I was shocked when I did the test!

My time has finally come! I finally took a test and it wasn't negative!!!

Now I have a world of mixed emotions! I am happy and shocked and excited, but at the same time, I am so scared and nervous. I don't want to get ahead of myself. I'm worried that this pregnancy will end in a miscarriage as well. I have to wait another 4 weeks for my first doctors visit and I feel like I won't be able to relax until I see a baby on the ultrasound machine!!

With my first pregnancy I was more excited than my fiancé, this time, it seems like he's more excited than me! It's cute, he will even talk to my belly and hug it!

I'm sorry for the long post, we have decided not to tell anyone yet this time because it was so hard telling everyone then telling everyone we lost our baby, so I want to share with someone!

To all you ladies still TTC, don't give up hope. I was there, I gave up hope, lost all faith and was so depressed but you ladies will see those 2 lines too and I'm sending you as much baby dust as I can! ❤️