First off I want to tell every mama and mama's to be out there that we are all incredible and there's no other way to put it 💜💚💙❤️

I was 40 weeks and 6 days, had an induction date for 41 weeks at 7:30 am to be started (I was only 1 cm and 70% effaced at my 39 and 40 week appointments). Through the night I had some cramping but nothing unbearable, about 15 minutes apart, I sent my fiancé off to work in the morning and they were more intense and about 8 to 12 minutes apart and as the day went on they came on stronger until I got to about 4-6 minutes apart but some were lasting almost 2 minutes and were mostly in my back. I thought I was leaking also since 11 am that day so about 4:30 we pack up some stuff and just head into the hospital to be checked, my contractions spaced out to about 8 minutes while there but my water was leaking (even though I still had hind bags of fluid surrounding baby) so they sent us home to labor more since in about 12 hours I would be getting induced anyways.. contractions were coming very strong anywhere from 2 1/2 to 5 minutes apart and still lasting almost 2 minutes. 10 pm comes around and we head back out to the hospital... this is when it started to go downhill... I got to the hospital and my contractions stopped, like fully, barely there and 20 minutes apart. So frustrating, I felt like the nurses thought I was just messing with them 😂😂😂 we got sent back home where they stayed at 20 minutes apart-- come 7 am we head to the hospital to be induced. Get checked in and started at about 8 to 8:15 and because I was still only 1-2 cm but 70% effaced they just needed to put me on pitocin. I feel like pitocin gets a bad rep but really it wasn't too bad UNTIL the doctor broke the rest of my water, about 9:30 am. The contractions came so quickly and hard that I wasn't getting much more than maybe 30 seconds in between and was trying hard to not throw up on top of everything else. Luck was on my side though, the epiduralist was in the room next to me finishing up another woman and they got him to me straight away (the epidural itself being put in was absolutely nothing, the real pain came from trying to keep still during back to back contractions) but I did it! And man did that change my life that day 😜 special shout out to all women who give birth naturally, by choice or not, you are the true heroes of this world! 💙 anywho, I laboured all day... i started to feel a ton of pressure and urges to push at about 1 pm where I was 4 cm and 100% effaced. I was thankfully in and out of sleep most of the day. I got to 7 cm at about 4 pm and when they checked me, my cervix had began to swell on one side (this is because the baby's head was pressing so hard on my cervix before I was dilated enough) They let me labour for another hour and a half to see whether I would progress or if my cervix would be getting more swollen. Well... after labouring for the most of 2 days , my cervix continued to swell and my dilation was regressing, as well as my babe was in distress with every contraction, they had to try and lower my pitocin by almost 20 mg to stop the contractions coming too fast but that didn't work either so the doctor comes in the talk about the "C- word" to which I cry because I couldn't believe that after all of that pain and work I wasn't going to push him out and that I now had a whole other set of worries that I hadn't planned on worrying about (and I am such a worrier) Within 20 minutes I was being wheeled into the O.R. I was so nervous and shaking so badly that it was making me sick, I shook the entire procedure. My fiancé was right there with me and when they say you don't feel anything but pressure they are not lying! About 10 minutes after starting our boy came out, it took him about 10 seconds the cry which felt like an eternity. I was scared I wasn't going to have that instant love connection, well it was there the moment he cried. My fiancé went to see him and brought him back to me, I have and never will be as in love with a man as I am with him. Oh let me tell you, watching him become a father and being the person to make him a father is so incredible (and the baby is only 2 days old! 😍😍😍) So with another turn of events, they send baby and daddy to nursery because he had pooped inside and they wanted to double check a few things, I tried to get through the rest of the c-section on my own but I started to panic, I felt nauseous and I started throwing up on the operating table while open, I thought I was going to choke and started panicking more to the point that the anaesthetiologist had to quickly give me something to relax me.. well that shit was great, I still trembled uncontrollably the rest of the time but I was in and out of consciousness. What had happened was I lost more blood than I was suppose to, they had to spend more time trying to get it under control and use more drugs to try to stop the bleeding. I ended up having a balloon put in my uterus to keep it from bleeding too much by keeping that pressure on the walls. I came out of operating and onto recovery where my blood pressure was low and I still was trembling uncontrollably. In recovery I got to hold my son and we nursed for the first time; it was incredible. I am very sore today, about 24 hours after the surgery. My bleeding slowed enough that they could take out the balloon and my urethral catheter and they got me up walking around. It was not the best experience, I am not going to lie to anyone about it BUT it was so worth it and I hope to get the opportunity to do it again in the future but for now I'm going to focus on the two most important men in my life 💙

Cole Samuel Barrett born at 6:45 pm on January 10th.

7 lbs 14 oz and 21 inches long

The loves of my life 💙💙💙