He's a week and 5 days

And I've been crying everyday since he's been born. Actually I didn't start crying till one of the nurses at my hospital made me feel like a shitty mom. When he was about a day or two old his blood sugar was very very low and at first the nurses and doctor told me to just supplement with formula because my milk was not in yet. Yes this made me emotional and I worried but it got worse when a nurse came in and ask "is it just you or is your mom or bf going to come help you?" Now I know it doesn't seem so bad that she asked but it's not what she said its how she said it and she said it right after checking his blood sugar and telling me how low it was and how I was doing something wrong and then she had this attitude like I wasn't capable of caring for my child or being alone with him. Once she left the room I ended up calling my mom balling my eyes out and my mom left work early to go to the hospital to calm me down. Now I still worry about him and I cry almost everyday there might be one or two good days where I'm happy and don't cry at all. Also a couple days ago I became obsessed with death and aging because I'm terrified of dying and its controlling my life and it's ruining my happiness...I keep telling my bf no it's just the baby blues but is it? He's worried and when I cry he cries and I just wanted to see what you guys think...