How to not resent your MIL

Now here is my situation: I am 21 weeks pregnant with our first child and I live 2.5 hours from my mother and father. My inlaws live 20 minutes away. My mother would love to watch our children and is heartbroken that she doesn't live closer. My parents can't move closer because they care for my grandmother who is 87 and ailing. While I would LOVE for my MIL to watch our child, I figured it was not my place to ask her. I have a good relationship with her, but I didn't want her to feel obligated or awkward if she didn't want to watch our child during the week day (my husband and I both work full time, 9-5).

Recently, we had my in laws over to our house for a BBQ and the topic of child care came up. My MIL asked if we ever considered hiring a middle aged grandmotherly woman ("someone like me" were her exact words) to watch our baby at our house instead of using daycare. My husband and I were shocked and elated at this and asked her "would you like to watch our child?" to which she hemmed and hawed and didn't really give us a straightforward answer. My husband and I took it as a sign that maybe she was considering watching our baby. We didn't push it that night and left it alone.

Fast forward to this past weekend - Memorial Day. We attended three family gatherings that weekend. My MIL again brought up child care saying how she was so lucky her mom watched her kids (my husband and his siblings) and she feels like she should watch her grandkids but, again she hesitated. I said we would love if she did, but she kept sighing and saying she wasn't sure ... Etc.

My dilemma is that this is really hurtful to have her involve me as a sounding board for her waffling over whether she wants to watch our child. I wouldn't feel so hurt or resentful if she had never brought it up in the first place. I would be fine with her just outright saying NO - but this constant talk about it and her being so unsure is really bothering me and causing me to put up a wall that wasn't there before. I mean who really wants to hear a grandparent talking about the pros and cons of watching your unborn child? I wish she'd talk to my FIL or her friends about it and not me.

She now suggests that maybe she would want to pick up our child from daycare early a few days a week which totally defeats the purpose in our minds. If we are paying for full time daycare, having a half day doesn't help anyone. If she wanted one full day, that's another story.

However, (blame my stubborn Irish attitude) my mind is now made up and I do NOT want her watching our child. I am hellbent on daycare now due to her waffling and indecision. Even if she were to come to me tomorrow saying she wanted the baby once a week, I wouldn't trust her. I've already heard what she has to say (the cons of watching our child) and I wouldn't trust her to not decide last minute that she doesn't want to watch the baby and leave us in a pickle with daycare. So my mind is made up - full time daycare. No going back. 

I just wish she never brought it up in the first place because it's caused more hurt feelings by telling me how conflicted she is over watching our child rather than just saying no, or not bringing it up at all. I had a great relationship with her and now I feel it cracking. I know she isn't doing this intentionally but the next time it comes up I'm going to have to say something to her.

My question is - how have other mothers dealt with this, and how do you overcome the resentment?  It hurts me to hear her say these things and it makes me want to (irrationally - because my feelings are so raw and hurt and I'm an emotional pregnant mess) keep my baby away from her. 

I don't want to make matters worse and I'm not sure if calling her out on this is going to even help ...😢