Is it even worth it?

My boyfriend and I have been together for quite some time, the typical time people tend to take the next step and get engaged.. when we first got together all he talked about was marriage and how he knew I was the one. It kind of scared me at the time because I was previously married and divorced and we literally just started dating but I wanted to see where things would go. We both want kids so have been not preventing and just seeing what happens... but I am getting to the point that I rather be married before having kids for a few personal reasons. So this topic I normally brushed off or avoided I’m now dropping hints that I’m ready for or at least to talk about and possibly start planning it.... now he doesn’t want to talk of it at all. Says he wants to marry me and knows still that I am the one but that he just “isn’t ready”... how are you not ready anymore?!? Our families ask all the time when we plan to get at least engaged or married and he gets so angry that it gets brought up. If I ask him why he gets angry with me saying to stop pushing it... I don’t know where this change came from or why. He says we wont have kids before we are married and I should be happy with that thought but when we aren’t even engaged yet and are very actively having relations unprotected we could easily have a baby in 9 months... I am starting to feel he no longer wants to get married at all and that I just wasted all this time being with someone who no longer wants the same things in life or is planning on leaving me now...

Seriously at a loss of what to do or how to bring all this up to him without having a huge fight...

Help