I am 43 years old the love of my life is 37 . We met as I was ending a 23 year marriage because my husband cheated on me , he admitted it , didn’t want counselling , he didn’t have a problem ( they never do ) . So my new partner is jealous , like extremely jealous he accuses every man I come into contact with of wanting to take me from him or me wanting to have sex with them . I’ve stopped talking to every male friend that I have and deleted any long term make friends off of social media to prove to him that I am loyal . About a month ago he gets a text t in the middle of the night that wakes both of us up. His next door neighbour sends a text “are you awake I need help “. He goes outside and rings her only to find out that she has gone out on the town is drunk and needs a lift home .

Before he met me (They had a brief fling , he said they had sex once but it clearly was more )

. I was of course furious and wanting to go over there and rip her hair out . I mean who texts someone else’s boyfriend in the middle of the night asking them to pick them up ??? He wouldn’t let me and kept assuring me it was only me and him and no one else . He blocked and deleted her off of his contacts . I spoke to him about it the next day and he knows I am furious about it still . He said he was very angry that she contacted him too and he should have gone over there and spoken to her about it .

I still have this uneasy feeling so yesterday I checked his phone which I regret because I cannot un see what I saw .

Which is basically a series of messages between himself and this girl that happened in March last year when we had been together 3 months . During that time we had a lot of emotional break ups because he had been a single dad on his own for three years and we were both trying to adjust to a new relationship where we both have kids and high pressure jobs . This neighbour broke us up twice by telling lies about my character and saying that his kids had confided in her that they didn’t like me ( this proved to be false ) but a series of lies came from her and he would believe her over me in the beginning . The biggest one came though when she told him that she was moving to a different country and had met the man she was going to marry . She told him that she was leaving her house and all it’s furniture behind to start this new life and was giving him one last chance to show his love for her . It obviously back fired and she has to come home and admit it was a lie . However I feel really angry about the messages they sent each other and want to confront them both but I know my partner is going to turn it around to why was I going through his phone ?

I love this man , like I love no other . From the moment our eyes met I knew he was the soul mate I had been waiting for . If I didn’t have the feelings that I do for him I would walk away . That’s not an option. I feel that in the beginning he was unsure of me and was keeping his options open a bit. Which I can understand there were times when I doubted the viability of our relationship . But I do feel very betrayed and upset by this girl and her way if trying to come between us . They used to go to the same church but now he no longer goes because it makes me feel uncomfortable to see her standing in front of us in the choir singing .

And I can’t very well tell him I’ve gone through his phone can I ? They are no longer friends on social media but he keeps every message he has ever sent and received including hers .

And then in another message I see messages between him and a single mum on the other side of the fence that made me feel very uncomfortable. She came over for drinks one night when he was having a party and I had never met her before , I couldn’t really understand why she was there and why she seemed at ease in his home . I’d been with my partner for a year and I am either always at his or he is always at mine so he isn’t home alone much . She messaged him to tell him that I made her feel so uncomfortable that she wished the ground would open up and swallow her but that if she left it would look bad? He said that he likes her company and she said she liked his . It really was flirting type comments .

Am I over reacting or what ? Cause this is doing my head in !

The first lot of messages where it mentions Aleshia are from the next door neighbour he has a fling with the next lot from “ rhi” is the other next door neighbour. Seriously it’s 1 am and I still can’t sleep thinking about this stuff .z