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I had a baby alone at 20 years old. Not ideal. You have no idea what life is going to bring and you've got a lot of time. What's the rush?
IUI on my own...
Hi all.
Basically, me and my partner split about two/three months ago. We miscarried at 10 weeks in October last year. My question is, is what are your thoughts of me going ahead with <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a> on my own??
I don't necessarily 'need' any help with fertility, it would pretty much be to become a single parent. Obviously using donor sperm.
My reasons behind my thoughts of this is the fact that I've been in a few relationships, and I've hated it. My longest one was about a year (my last one) and I was constantly arguing with him because I wanted my own space. I can't handle relationships, I'm no good at them. This may sound very immature and naive, but I know what responsibilities come with having a child. I know they're not easy, and I know I have to be financially stable in order to make my child's life the best it can be. Well, I work in the banking industry and my pay grade isn't bad. I was pretty much keeping my partner for the whole year, so I know I could handle a baby financially. I have tons of support around me, and would never be alone if I needed help. My mum is young herself at 40, and I know I'm young at 21. But I know in my heart that a relationship and a 'normal' family isn't what I want. That may sound really odd and wrong to some people, but not everyone follows the norm. The baby will be loved, supported and would never go without. I'd make sure of it.
If I've known for a good few years that I want to do it on my own, and I'm in a position where I can, why should I wait until I'm 26/27/28..?
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If you feel well equipped and have a great support system and flexible job, I don't see why not... But please consider: if you don't like being in relationships and always need your own space, is having a child going to conflict with that? You will never again have "your own" anything - space, time, money... And you can't just break up with a child if the relationship becomes overwhelming. Just be sure to consider you & the child's emotional needs as well as physical, financial, and other practical matters.
You should consider if your job allows time off for emergencies once you have your baby. If not will you constantly have someone you will trust to watch the baby. Do you have money saved if your baby gets sick and needs hospital care? Will you be able to work and leave your baby in a hospital? Single parenting is a huge responsibility. Of course it's doable but really if I were you, I would save money for a few years. That baby will cost more than you think especially if you have to pay for iui and meds And monitoring out of pocket and pay for sperm. And your birthing and monitoring before that will cost thousands. But you have to also consider logistics as far as care of the baby. Good luck! That's a big decision.
Am
Well obviously you've thought about it if you think you can handle it and can afford the treatment then go for it.
Ja
Also get childcare vouchers where I work. I've thought it all out and considered every possible problem and I always come to a solution... My support network is amazing, my job is amazing, and it is definitely feasible. Just wanted to know what other ladies thought about the situation :)
Ja
Allowed time off to care for my 61 year old Nan after her hysterectomy. Of course, I didn't get paid, but I was honoured the time off and I had my savings to fall back on. I have so much support around me and I know my parents would help me out if need be, and I know childcare is expensive, but we
Being a parent is amazing & I wouldn't trade it for the world. There is nothing like it. It's rewarding & fulfilling, brings a whole new level of joy & love & meaning to your life that cannot be experienced any other way. It's all I've ever wanted in life & all I hoped & dreamed it would be. And I've dreamed about it since I was a toddler. But it is exhausting. It is more than a full time job because it's literally 24/7. No evenings or weekends free no vacation time. I have "single parented" for 30 days straight one time & it gave me a whole new appreciation for single parents!! It's so hard!! I am so glad that I have my husband to help me, "relieve me"/give me a break when I need it. I don't think you will ever get any time to yourself. I can't imagine doing this alone. Truly. I'm not exaggerating. I think it's a lie society believes that you don't need 2 parents. I know what it's like to want a baby desperately, but I would urge you to wait. It will be SO worth it!! Hth!! :-))
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