How do I stop wanting a baby?

I’ve been trying for 17 months to no avail. I’m 44 and there’s a good chance this won’t happen for me. I can’t begin to tell you the havoc in my life from tcc. All along, I’m only wanting a child more and more. I see these people say that when you are not trying it happens. I’m either trying because I want it or I’m not trying because I don’t want it. How do you NOT try for something you want!??

But more importantly- How do I stop wanting a baby? How can I move on with life, when I cant envision my future without this child? If I stop wanting this child I could have my life back. How can I get to that place? (This is not a rhetorical question....I’m really asking for advice here).