My son is 5 months old, and I can't stand my husband. We got along great my entire pregnancy, and we were so excited for our little one. Now, I resent him, and I can't change my mindset. I do love him, but the love is buried by bitterness right now. He hasn't done anything horrible. I stayed home with my son the first 3 months of his life while my husband was working a full time job. During that time, I gladly took on all of the responsibility of morning, evening, and nighttime duties because I knew he was tired. I was tired too, but I could stay in my pajamas all day if I wanted. I went back to work full time in November.

Every morning and every evening, I feel like I do everything for our son. He has been sick since he started daycare - almost continuously - so he is up all night. Sometimes I need help. I am sleep deprived. My husband can't be bothered. When he is with our baby, he would rather look at his phone, even when his son is staring right into his eyes begging for attention. I don't want him to grow up thinking mommy and daddy would rather look at a screen. My husband won't interact with him. He won't even change his diaper unless I remind him to do so.

My entire life right now is my son. I'm okay with that. It's stressful, but I chose it, and I've never known a love like this. But between taking all of the responsibility at home for preparations, mobilizing to and from daycare every day and to all doctors appointments, taking PTO when he is too ill to be at daycare or won't eat because he has a stomach ache or can't breathe, staying up at night, working full time and pumping every day, even when on the road or in the field, trying to keep up, providing all the entertainment and never having a moment for myself... I'm drowning.

I'm hurt, because my husband said last night that he feels detached from our son. He says that he sees him as a burden that has ruined our relationship. While I see light and joy through milestones he is reaching, it's almost as if my husband regrets our own child. He didn't have a father figure, and he says 'atleast our son has a dad, just the fact that I am here is better than I ever had.' He gets angry so easily. When baby is upset, he won't comfort him. He stares at him while he is screaming, using no words, just silence. He doesn't talk to him, doesn't try to teach him new things. He tells me to let him cry it out, and that he needs to toughen up and be independent. I tell him that he is still learning the world, and has needs that we have to meet. If he's crying, there's something wrong, and I will tend to him.

I love my son and I love my husband. I don't know how to be a wife and a mom. I don't care for making love anymore, or even to be in the same room as my husband. If I saw him as more of a father, I think these desires would return. I am so disconnected. Does it get better? Will my husband fall in love with our son the same way that I am, or keep seeing him as a problem that came in between us, leading me to feel this awful resentment I do?