PMDD anyone? Feeling suicidal, angry, irritable, sad, ugly, worthless, anxious, depressed?


Hi beautiful ladies. I recently discovered I suffer from premenstrual dysphoric disorder and my life is falling back into place again. I spent the last two years extremely depressed, suicidal, incredibly irritable and full of anxiety. I was diagnosed with OCD, anxiety and bipolar I, I was on Prozac and other pills to try to make me suffer less and cope with the simple things as waking up. Long story short a couple months after, I quit taking the pills cause they were no help and I got worse, however, I was never THAT ANGRY MOST OF THE TIME. I would lash at my mom and tell her really hurtful things, I thought I had some tourette or something. I contemplated suicide and tried to hurt myself two times. I lost about five jobs, I couldn't last more than three months on a single job until one day I realized a pattern. Whenever I got my period, the beast would hide and disappear. I felt happy, relaxed, pretty, positive but that would only last for the last two days of my period and the week after. I checked my app and noted that the dates I had MAJOR anger/panic attacks, or blocked a friend on social media or go fired/quit a job were about one or two weeks before my period. So, I googled the whole thing and PMDD popped up. I went to the psychologist and he confirmed my self diagnose. All these years I've been a victim of my hormones. I've lost many friends, jobs, family, aI lost my apartment and got in so much debt because I was out of my mind for almost 3 weeks every month. Now that I know that I'm not a horrible, mean or plain crazy woman, I started to take action. I quit coffee, I'm eating a healthy diet and exercising to relieve anxiety. Now I keep close track of my period and have a HUGE calendar in my room and in every room in my house with the dates I might start feeling bad and now I carry a feel-good bag with me all the time that has some lavender oil for calming down, some relaxing teas and elixirs that I got from a shaman in a market near my house and I keep a journal. Whenever I catch bad thoughts I dissuade them. IF YOU CAN IDENTIFY YOURSELF WITH THIS PLEASE HELP YOURSELF, ask for help, tell your loved ones so they know you don't hate them, control your environment, treat yourself and look for support groups. There are millions of women around the world suffering silently and even on the edge of suicide because of this. I just want to help!