I could cry.

So my journey with breastfeeding has been a struggle to say the least. My 9 week old son never was able to latch onto me from the start because I have wide flat nipples. Even with a nipple shield, he got extremely frustrated and very very rarely nursed. Luckily my body responded really well to pumping so he has still been exclusively on breast milk and he loves bottles. After many many frustrating tries at nursing with and without the shield with tears from both of us most of the time and seeing 3 different lactation consultants, I basically gave up. Every now and then, we would give it a random try (always with the shield) and he would sometimes latch on for a couple minutes but eventually would get mad and still want a full bottle. Last night I happened to try again and he nursed with the shield for 5 minutes. I was excited by that and tried again with the shield this morning. Success again! 5 more minutes. Well this afternoon I tried again with the shield and he wasn’t having it. For some reason, I thought to myself “fuck it” and took the shield off and tried to give him my actual nipple. HE LATCHED ONTO MY OWN NIPPLE FOR 5 minutes!!! Like really nursed. It felt so different than with the shield or pumping. I was beyond happy and proud of him. He of course looked super confused the whole time haha! He unlatched and then wouldn’t re-latch after that, so we went back to the bottle, but I am so happy we have taken this huge step forward! I’m hoping we can keep trying and he can eventually get a full feeding straight from the boob! We will still use bottles for a bunch of feedings even if he gets it down perfectly because his dad enjoys feeding him and he’s going to daycare in 2 months (😭😭) but I’d love to be able to nurse him when it’s just us at home and during the night 💙💙💙