Scared, sad, emotional rollercoaster!


I'm so very embarrassed to post this, so please don't make fun of me...

I'm 30 years old and my fiancé is 29. We've been sexually active for 11 years and I've never been pregnant. We've been consciously trying for almost 7 years. And he's lost all hope... I'm starting to as well. I've always been irregular cycle-wise going 2 months without at the most. But this year, I haven't had a period since the beginning of February (3 going on 4 months)! I've had S&S of pregnancy such as nausea, unexplained weight loss then weight gain. I've used multiple ovulation and pregnancy tests, weekly, and all of them have been negative.

I'm so scared right now because it's taken a toll on our relationship and family, period, as my parents only have one grandchild. I've done everything right, but I just don't understand. We can't even afford going to the doctor. Its sad, horrible really. I have half a mind to just go, but I'm very scared I'll be told I can't have children, or I've been through menopause (I had S&S of that as well), or something else.

Please, what are you all's thoughts, advice and suggestions? Thank you! 😊