How do I tell my boyfriend he’s mentally abusive

I’m 17 years old and I’m nothing short from being an idiot. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and I’ve been living with him for 3 months. He is 20 years old. I would have never moved in with him if it wasn’t for my mother forbidding me from being with him. I just wanted to feel like I had control over my own life and that I’m capable of analyzing and being aware of situations that I’m in. Unfortunately I know that my boyfriend has some serious mental health issues and I always thought I was strong enough to be able to look past them. Every time I get into a disagreement with someone in my family he tries to take it into his own hands and has messaged almost ever one of my family members saying some pretty mean shit to them, which is part of the reason my mom said I wasn’t allowed to see him anymore. Since being here he held a job for maybe 2 weeks, then blamed me for being the reason he was fired (he did a no show no call) because we worked opposite shifts. I closed and he opened. I came home late from work the night he was supposed to wake up early the next morning. He even had his mother pick me up from work so that he could sleep for his shift the next day. I get home I take a shower go to bed. And he wanted to have sex. We did, and he blames me for it. Saying I wanted sex and wouldn’t let him sleep and that’s why he couldn’t wake up the next morning. In other situations he repeatedly calls me a 12 year old and that I’m immature and sometimes dating me makes him feel like a pedophile. He calls me disgusting and dirty and that it’s okay because I’m just like my family and that’s the way of our family, that’s how I was raised no wonder I don’t know why better etc. I live with him but he loves to have ownership over this house. It’s “his door” that I slammed in an argument or “his bed” that I’m messing up the sheets on, or “his house” and if I don’t like something I can just leave. One night we got into an argument and I was watching Netflix and he literally unplugged the tv so I couldn’t watch anything. When he gets mad he hits things and throw things and fucks up his knuckles really bad. Yesterday morning my alarm on my phone went off and it was on the dresser. Since he’s on the outside of the bed I asked him to grab it for me so I didn’t have to crawl over him. He couldn’t find my phone and I told him to look under the bag of skittles. He threw the bag of skittles on the floor and chucked my phone at me and it hit my shoulder pretty hard. When I confronted him about it “he didn’t remember because he was half asleep”. Another instance we had is when my cat spilled some water on the floor and when I asked why my cat was wet my bf threw a fit and threw my cat into another room and was screaming and acting insane so when I screamed back he got way too close to my face and said fuck you and called me a bitch. So I slammed his door and he threw my keys at me and told me to get the fuck out of his house, by the way it’s his brothers house (he’s 22 and pays the bills, we buy our own groceries) I am the only one with a job and I’m the only one making money, he might work for his brother once a week and uses the $20 he makes to buy beer. He gets mad at me when I tell him no he can’t take money out of my bank account, or when I tell him I’m too broke to buy fast food. Or when we go grocery shopping and tell him we have a $50 limit and he freaks out because we only got 6 meals and he’s tired of frozen pizza or ramen. I tell him to get a job but noooo because the last job was his dream job and I’m the reason he got fired. I’m just so sick of it I tried bringing up today how he was mentally abusive I just don’t know how to convince him that what he is doing is wrong which is why I’m here. I need someone to analyze all of this and break it down for me. And please, don’t tell me just to break up with him. I know I probably should but that’s not the point here and I appreciate people trying to tell me I deserve better, but at the moment I just need to know how I’m being treated BAD and how to get through to him.