Do I have a eating disorder ?

So I’ve struggled with weight my whole entire life and I seriously can’t take it anymore lately I’ve been so afraid to eat stuff cause I’m so worried about the calories in it ... I only eat small amounts of food so I don’t gain a bunch of weight but then I will get so hungry from not eating enough that at night i will eat so much I feel like My stomachs going to burst ?! What is wrong with me I can’t stand it makes me sick