Self Harming ..

I came to find out the guy I was “talking to” was on a double date with his friend and this two girl (they where pretty so I can’t really say she ugly or anything bad cuz I don’t know them) any ways that really broke me that like I drank and felt like my heart was going to explode I was trying to cry myself to sleep ..But later on that night I got a phone call from my friend let’s call her F so I answered F n she said “hey I need to tell you something I rather tell you like this rather in text” keep in mind I was buzzed and crying like at 11:40ish at night . Anyways F continued on talking didn’t really pay attention to it until I heard”...we kissed” I was heart broken again imagen that my brother and F had kissed n she was one of my closest friends .... so on I said”..oh ok... uhmmmm we’ll talk about it later..” and hunged up that was when I was trying not to punch walls anymore already had a pain in my right wrist and didn’t want to make it worst .. so I kept drinking but it didn’t help so then I noticed I had been scratching myself it kinda in a way calmed myself the pain was pleasant you can say , so after leaving a huge scratching scar on my hand I stoped as I looked at myself crying in the mirror looking at myself . I still continued to do it the recent one was last week those 5 scars have been healing till I opens one recently due to some stress and all idk what to do I find pleasure in it in a way but then the pain when moving my hand cause of a stretch in the scar hurts .. what should I do instead ..?