Between having a very traumatizing emergency c section, having my baby sent out to another state’s NICU for 2 weeks, almost dying. Now my baby is finally back in my city/state, I still have high blood pressure and chronic back pain. I just feel like i cant take all this stress anymore.

My milk supply decreased like 80% this week and if i dont start producing more again, they are going to start feeding formula to the baby. And this just breaks my heart, because giving her my breast milk is the only thing that keeps me connected to her while shes in the NICU. I feel heart broken that I cant even do this atleast 😭😭😭😭 but is just so hard, to pump every 2 hours when you are so busy, and cleaning the equipment each time, takes times...sometimes i dont pump for 5 & 6 hours 😭 when i was in the hospital with the baby i was making like 7oz every 3 hours, that went down to 1-2 oz each time i pump now! ☹️

I have tried setting up my alarm in all ways and use all sounds and I just cant wake up at night every 2 hours to pump. and then during the day I get so busy between spending like 5 hours at the NICU and doing arrands, and also taking care of my house and a hungry husband. Whom ever since I stopped working when I was 8 months, all he does is complain about how he has to pay for everything and expects me to pick up after every single mess in this house because im not doing “anything” 😭😭

And like thats not enough, I have like a million family members and friends from both sides whom just bombard my cellphone at all times of the day, asking me for updates on the baby and wanting to see the baby at the NICU. I hate having to repeat myself all day long. The nurses in the NICU hate me, because everyday I come with different visitors. So I cant even say “can I use your pump machine”, because they really dont like me, plus 80% of the time im stock with someone that comes to see the baby.

I understand the baby almost died and everyone is so worried, but noone seems to fu** care about my health, i had to basically heal in 2 weeks, so i could drive myself to see the baby, and take care of my house, and all this

I just want my baby to be home, and maybe I can relax alittle, by not having to drive myself to the hospital everyday, keeping visitors away from my house, and not missing my pumping sessions. This is just crazy!