TW: Suicide

One of my best friends since 5th grade completed suicide in August. He was in the Air Force, and shot himself. We’d had a bit of a falling out a few years ago, due to his girlfriend at the time (and later, wife) not being comfortable with his and my friendship, so it does feel a little funny to still refer to him as a best friend, but we’d been super close from high school through college. Wanting to respect her wishes of him not talking to me, we ceased communication my senior year of college. I feel guilty I never reached out to his family directly; I asked my friend to tell them I was so sorry for their loss at his funeral (I wasn’t able to fly across the country for it, and still wanted to respect his wife), but am now thinking I should email them or something. This morning I got an “On this Day” notification on Facebook and it was a photo of us from when he accompanied me to my high school semi formal. It’s been up and down for me the last few months, but for some reason seeing this made me feel almost as sad as when I’d first found out about his death, even though I’ve looked at that photo since. I work in college admission and this morning read a story about a classmate’s suicide which sort of piled onto the feelings I already had building up. It’s unfortunately fairly common to see the mention of suicide in applications, which is deeply saddening (yet great to see when students are seeking ways to take care of their own or their friends’ mental health!). It’s been a bit of a rough morning, and I don’t usually post on <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a>, but I figure sometimes strangers’ support can really help you make it through the day. Thanks for reading :)