I'm drowning.

No, I don't have post partum depression. My 11m old constantly drains me. I'm in every fussy baby group, I'm dying. He's still colicky, he still cries for hours upon end. I feel like I'm never going to catch a break. Not to mention I'm pregnant with my second birth control baby. I feel so exhausted everyday. I can't even cook for 5 mins, bc the minute he doesn't see me next to him, he freaks out. I'm find myself crying, asking him to give me a break at least 1x a week. His colic is never ending, and so is the crying. I can't even go on a simple car ride without him freaking out. I'm constantly wondering what I did to deserve such a hard baby. & yes, he's basically been crying since we brought him home from the hospital.

I'm so over my life as a mom, I'd never do anything to my child, but I'm just so exhausted.

*his dr said its just his personality, and he'll eventually calm down.

I've even asked my dr to tie my tubes, bc I honestly don't feel like I can mentally handle three kids after him. I freak out at the thought my next child could end up just like him. I love him so much, but his crying is just killing me.