Disgusted with Myself

I am 4 months postpartum. I am disgusted at the sight of my self. I can admit I have not been taking really good care of myself because I am just so focused on my baby. I’m EBF and it’s so physically demanding. Yesterday my coworker asked me if I was pregnant again. She said I should have been lost all my baby weight. And I know I should have by now. I just haven’t had he time to get away from my baby to go workout. FTM I gained 50 pounds and I’m only down 15.. I think if I wasn’t nursing I’d be able to get away more and actually work out and not worry if I have enough milk expressed for her. I produce so much milk I have to pump every 2-3 hours or I will be encouraged and it’s painful. I even have to get up at night to pump! Just send some encouragement my way. Or tell you you feel my pain. Or just look in disgust as I do.