And he wonders why I'm not very affectionate toward him. Every bday, fathers day, Valentine's day, anniversary etc I try my hardest to do special little things for him. before our son was born I threw him a huge surprise party for his bday at 38 WEEKS PREGNANT. I'll make him breakfast in bed, buy little gifts even though were broke, have my 10 month old son paint him a "world's best dad" sign for his 1st fathers day. plan outings and have surprises throughout his special days. My bday is coming up and then Valentine's day is just under 2 weeks after. I'm always so disappointed so I've started to expect nothing. It's harder to be disappointed when you expect nothing. I even tell him to treat special days like normal days now. saying I don't like to be fussed over or made the center of attention. he talks so bad about Valentine's day and I feel like it's his excuse to not do anything. "it's a made up holiday to get us to spend money on overpriced chocolates and flowers". He's never got me flowers. well except one time when his co-worker brought some in from her garden and needed someone to take them b4 the weekend. we were taking the train to visit someone at the hospital that day so it was super inappropriate timing and I ended up acting like the flowers were for the person we were visiting. I once told my husband I didn't like flowers-- I was 16 and we had barely started dating and I only said that because I didn't want to carry around an awkward bouquet. but he's used that excuse ever since. I prob won't get a cake for my bday. I usually don't. And if I do, it's because my father in law (who lives with us) decides it's a good excuse to indulge his sweet tooth. my husband has never got me jewelry other than my engagement ring. And even though he planned the proposal months before, he only went in for the ring 2 days before and ended up walking out with a 100$ thing That's technically categorized as a promise ring. And I don't care about money. we're poor I get it. but this is a piece of jewelry I'm going to have forever. the most important piece of jewelry u can get someone. And he put less than an hour of thought into it. oh and I've never gotten to sleep in since my son has been born a year and a half ago. And if I do I have to plan it in advance and set out his breakfast, lunch in the fridge, and put the coffee on a timer. otherwise he won't eat. just won't. And I care too much to let him starve. if I don't cook dinner he might have toaster waffles... healthy choice I know. he let me nap once when I was suffering anemia in early pregnancy and could hardly sit up. And he held it against me for weeks. I'm ranting and complaining but sometimes I'm disappointed and sad. he puts so little thought into romantic gestures. He'd rather hang out with the boys and play meaningless stupid video games. And his excuse for that is he's an "extrovert" and since I'm an introvert, I could "never understand what it's like" and since were married were "one in the Same" so hanging out with me is like hanging out with himself. I just wish for a little more effort but he puts no effort into anything he does so what should I have expected. if it requires more than ten mins of thought, its basically not worth doing in his eyes edit Every time I talk to him I hurt his ego and he comes up with all these excuses which I believe at the time but seem stupid in retrospect