Sometimes, my mom can truly get on my nerves, especially now that she is staying the whole week at home after having surgery. Today, despite her injury, she chased me out the house so that I put on a long sleeve top, sunglasses and a giant hat at 30 C to take my daily 5 min stroll to the gym. I was very embarrassed to get there sweating and warm af before the excercises even began!

My whole life, I ve been anxious and terrified to fail or experiment because I knew my parents were always watching me, waiting for something to go wrong to scold me. I have always wanted to go out with friends, have parties and sleepovers, but that obviously wouldn’t happen no matter how many times I reasoned with them. Somehow, “having fun” is not a legitimate reason to go out, so everything needs to be a bigger deal than it is. It was an automatic no “because you are a girl”. My older brother was able to take the bus alone at age 13, and I am 18 and cant leave the house without being scorted by two people (yes! two!)

It all worsened when at 13 I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder, giving my mom further excuse to safeguard my every move. It sucks to be constantly in pain, but it sucks most that your family only places further pressure in me, scolding me for being in pain or wanting to be independent. She never acknowledges when I do something right, and will complain if t wasn’t done exactly as she wanted it to be.

The truth is, I am not a clumsy child anymore: I can clean, cook, take my pills and remain alive by my own. But she obviously never sees that because she is out working, or she is at home, complaining about my uselessness, well, whose fault is it but the person who shielded me from learning to be an adult?!

And everyone I complain to gives me the same shit: but she does it to protect you! Well guess what, she also always uses that whenever I ask for more independence. My mom has always manipulated my sensibility, making me feel bad for not staying home with her instead of going out, wanting to take a class that doesnt involve her, not picking a university at my country of birth so I stay at home being her adult-baby. This hurts her as much as it hurts me, giving us both anxiety for everything we do.

But most of all, it hurts that I cant have my mom s trust in this very important transition of my life from child to adult. Rather than support me and strengthen my confidence, she deprecates my efforts to be a strong, successful woman.

Any overprotective parents reading this, please consider the harm this does to your children. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.