I’m new to this

Hey y’all! I’m new to this app. My friend recently told me about it so I figured I’d give it a try and love it!!

A little back story on myself; I’m 22, husband and I have been together 10 years this year, married 3. We have had two losses, and two living children. In 2013 I had a miscarriage April 9 at 8 weeks. It broke my heart and I did a lot of self sabotage to deal with the pain and pretend it didn’t happen. October of that year we found out we were expecting again, thankfully we carried to term and I gave birth to to beautiful, healthy little boy. At the beginning of 2016 we decided I would stop taking my pill and let nature take its course, low and behold in April we found out we were expecting again! Later we found out it was twins! Boy girl twins to be exact. I was stressed and somewhat unhappy during my pregnancy always second guessing how I could possibly have 3 babies under 3. Well fate has its crappy way of doing things sometimes. I went to the hospital at 35 weeks to find out our sons heart was no longer beating. They scheduled a c section for me 8 hours later. I gave birth to two beautiful babies, one gone way to soon. It has been a year this past November since we lost our son, and our beautiful daughter turned one. Although my now almost 4 year old was only 2 1/2 at the time he was aware of what happened. Now that he’s older he says things completely randomly sometimes about his brother. Last night he told my husband and I he wants to go to heaven to see his brother and gold him 😭😭😭😭😭 I usually can take what he says and be positive but I lost it when he said that. I just hope that one day he can understand more, and dread the day we tell our daughter 😞