He’s actually my ex.. here’s the story.

I fell in love with my ex over two years ago.

It was wonderful beside him acting so scared of the relationship. We were together for a

He had never been in a serious relationship before me. He was 24 then, now 26.

His father told me that he dated a girl a few years before and she cheated on him with her ex.

His father said he was so hurt that he gave up dating all together. And basically never trusted women again.

When we met it was like fireworks and it still is like that to this day when we’re together.

But there was just always something holding him back and he would push me away.

He would break up with me, saying he didn’t do relationships. Then he would come back.

That happened over and over. It was an emotional roller coaster. I would break down thinking he was gone and then he would just come over the next day.

He would always say he couldn’t give me what I wanted.

Which was a relationship. (I also have kids)

That he wasn’t made for it.

That he never wants to get married because he could never trust a women.

Finally it got to the point I couldn’t take the hurt anymore and we mutually agreed to end it.

We didn’t speak for about 9 months.

I had the hardest time. I compared every man to him. I just didn’t want to be with anyone else.

I was and am still so in love.

Then a little over a month ago. I saw his car near my house and messaged him.

He stopped by.

We slept together.

He told me straight up on that day that he does not want a relationship because he’s to busy and that he’s made to be alone.

When I’m with him, we belly laugh, we make love, we hold each other for hours on end, telling me how beautiful I am. He looks at me and holds me as if I complete his world and I hold him the same.

But when he leaves, he distances himself. I won’t hear from him for days.

I understood and agreed to have a sexual relationship.

He’s the only person I am attracted to sexually. So I was thinking.. well at least I can have sex and cuddles with him.

If I don’t sleep with him, then i don’t want to sleep with anyone.

I get I’m a booty call. He’s mine too. I just wish I could have more.

I talked to him and he said is not that he isn’t in love with me or that he doesn’t have feelings.

He just can’t have relationships. He’s to busy, working, buying a house, friends.

I don’t know.

I don’t know if I should just do what I’m doing till I meet someone else. (As in just keep sleeping with him

Or if I should just not even sleep or talk to him.

I keep thinking maybe he’s just scared. That if I just wait it out, he’ll come around.

I just don’t know.

I’m having a hard time going days with out talking.

Makes me feel obsessive.

What do I do? My heart is so sad.

I feel so foolish but at the same I rather wait if he does come around.

What should I do

Dreams

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