Lost twin

I just like to say please no rude comment this is extremely personal to me...

So here I go when I was born I was born a twin fraternal he died at birth so I never got to know him and never had pictures (of course) but my whole life I knew my mom said when I was small she never told me about him because I already knew she said I would say him name and play with him just as an imaginary friend but I don’t remember anyway I’m almost 20 and I have never been able to get over it i miss him I want to know him but i never can my heart aches like I’ve know him for years I want to know if there anyone out there like me and any suggestions to being able to not have this whole in my heart of life and be able to be happy and not depressed...

as side note no one talk about it and kinda just as it is so it hurts that my family act like he doesn’t exist so thank you for reading and hope to see comments