So lately my husband and I have been having issues with his mother (my mother in law)

to give some background his mother got pregnant with him when she was 19 and had him and “raised” him on her own. ( his aunt and grandma raised him more than she did) for most of his childhood he was neglected and abused (verbal and physical) by his “stepdad” well a couple years ago his mom and the “stepdad” split. About two years later they got back together and kicked him out of the house. he has never known his birth father in anyway his mother never even told the guy that this child existed.

Well she has sworn up and down when he turned 18 she would tell him who his father is..... well he’s 25 and still doesn’t know.

We are anxiously awaiting for the arrival of our first child in may (its a boy!) and when we went to the doctors he started thinking it would be best to get his fathers name for medical reasons. He’s told me he’s scared he might pass something to our son from his fathers side. So at our gender reveal party months ago he pulled his mother aside and asked her nicely if he could have his name and gave his reasoning. She told him he doesn’t need to know who his father is because our baby will get non of the fathers genetics......

I don’t think she realizes how genetics work......

Anyways from that moment on he swore we wouldn’t talk to his mother until she told him who his father is. Well months have passed and she has been nothing but nasty about the whole situation. She is blaming me and saying horrible things about her own son to his sister.

His sister has called begging him to fix things. After about 2 months of this he finally cracked and called her when she told his sister she wasn’t allowed to go to the baby shower (we didn’t send her an invite because she stated back at the gender reveal she wasn’t going to go)

When they talked he explained to his mom his reasoning for not talking to her and that if she doesn’t tell him who his father is he won’t let her around our son.

She had the nerve to say she was fine with that and that she was never going to tell tommy who his father is and that she will take it to her grave.

My husband is crushed and broken hearted over this because he feels that she once again has chosen a man over her him.

Personally I think she is choosing herself and a man over her own child for the second time.

I don’t know what to do. Our baby shower is coming in March and I’m afraid she will try and send the baby a gift or that she will try and show up and shove herself into the party. Personally I don’t want her around our child because she has treated her son so badly I fear what she would do to mine.

I don’t know what to do with all of this.