Aftercare longing?


I'm a pretty awkward person so talking about things is really difficult for me... My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now and during the last 6ish months of it (the first half was long distance) we have talked about our desires and have concluded we both love rough, name calling, mark leaving, makes me wanna die happy sex which is awesome!! But I don't think he understands the concept of aftercare? Because after we are done having fun and all he becomes almost dismissal of me. Like... I wanna cuddle and be pet and told that I'm a good girl and he's just like no. Need space. I get it and all and I don't want to impose on his after sex jazz so how do I bring this up to him without feeling... murph. Help.