I am begging anyone who has fifteen minutes to catch up on the soap opera that is my life, please give me advice. 💖

Thank you,

Quick background information:

So it's me, Jane, and Jack (using different names cause I can)

The three of us are freshman in college, have some (serious) level of anxiety issues, Jane and I live together but may not next year. Jack lives a floor below us, is in the apartment more than Jane is, and has two drawers and hanging space in my closet so he basically lives with us too.

Jack and I have been dating for 5 months. 3 months ago he came out/fully accepted that he's poly. I'm bi. Jane doesnt know what she is, but has little interest in sex.

Jack and I love Jane, though he loves her (and just in general) more intensly than I do. We are both emotionally and sexually attracted to this girl. Jane loves us. Let me repeat; SHE. LOVES. US. Everyone knows she does, she’s even told us she does in serious conversation and lightheartedly just about every day.

Jane is open to being in a poly relationship with Jack and I.

So here's the sitch-

Problem #1: Jane isn't sure she has any interest in romantic relationships. She has anxiety issues and has never had a relationship end well or make her happy for an extended length of time.

Problem #2: I’m not sure I can handle being in a poly relationship. I’m not against the idea, but in reality I’m not sure I can handle the added anxiety of being in a relationship with two people. I'm not sure I can keep from becoming jealous.

Problem #3: Jack is exploring the possibility and is already stressing about how he’d split his time, he doesn’t want to give up time with me, would Jane be okay with us having sex, is HE okay to be in a relationship where he never kisses or has sex with Jane.. etc.

Problem #4: Will we all be able to stay friends if this doesn’t work out?

Problem #5: If Jack decides to pursue Jane joining our relationship, she agrees, and it doesn’t work out and we lose her- where does that put Jack and I? Will I be able to forgive him? Jane isn’t just my roommate and crush- she’s my best friend.

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND

Pro #1: Jack wanted to be in a poly relationship with his two best friends in high school and they never talked about their feelings and it really screwed him up. Taking this chance could be great for him, even if it doesn’t work out

Pro #2: Jane is a little afraid to even try relationships because people dont understand her questioning identity and dont respect her- Jack and I do. We all love each other, and it’d be a safe space for her to explore.

Pro #3: I never got to be with a woman, and I feel like I’ve missed out on exploring that part of my sexuality. Even if Jane doesn’t want to ever have sex, just being able to explore that part of myself that loves people for themselves not their biology would be an incredible experience for me.

Pro #4: Honesty and clarity- we all love each other, shouldn’t we be in a relationship? It hurt Jack when Jane had a long distance thing for a month.

Pro #5: It would make Jack happy to have two people whom he openly loves and openly love him, and I love him and want him to be happy.

But if this ends badly, it would crush him. And Jane. And possibly myself.

So what the actual fuck do I do. 😭

Please, Couples Problems Group, you're my only hope!

-Nerd in love with ...maybe ...one too many other nerds(?) Agh, seriously plz help me!