Coparenting jealousy

Ok, so my ex husband and I have two children together 9&8. Both children are very active in sports, school, church. Something going on almost everyday of the week. My boyfriend and I have a three year old child together, live together, I’m a stay at home mother and dedicate my life to my boyfriend and my children. This being said. My ex husband and his family are very close with my children, his parents even buy Xmas gifts for my 3 yo. The ex and I communicate on a daily basis about the kids activities, transportation and decision making. My boyfriend is always checking my messages, calls, cameras etc. I don’t care because I know I’m not doing anything of ill intentions. I know that my boyfriend is bothered by all of the communication so I include him in everything. But what really bothers me is that he treats me poorly about it. He always says things like “ask your husband” “go with your real family”. He’ll ignore me and get mad thinking I do what my ex tells me. But truthfully I don’t, I do what’s in the best interest of my children. We coparent well together. Despite the occasional not seeing eye to eye but who doesn’t. Just ready to throw in the towel with my boyfriend. The emotional manipulation is getting old. Sometimes I find myself not taking what he says into consideration for the simple fact that he treats me shitty and every decision is a battle, not about what’s right for the kids but who he thinks I’m listening to! Any advice?!?!