FIRST POST:
Jan 1 is a day to set new goals - and I took the step to answer the quiz in Glow about assisted fertility. WOW! It was amazing, I got outreach from Gunce, then a call where she helped to educate me on HER story and how Glow is helping!
I'm always skeptical of these things - companies just try and sell you their services - and preying on a woman in this area is NOT what I wanted to be in for.
But GLOW was the exact opposite. They are an Advocate for ME to the clinics. They are a Guide for me to understand what all these new terms mean (IUI, IVF, PGC, AMH, ....uuurgrgh).
It's Feb 1st and Phase 1 of Diagnostic testing is complete. Taken the time to learn what's possible, what's probable, how much financially to commit for a child, and learning about the clinics around me (and beyond).
I'll share my story along the way - and here to learn others stories too.
Age: 39 1/2 (the 1/2 seems to really matter in this as I approach that magic 4-0 number)
Pregnancies: 1 Live Birth July 2016, 1 Miscarriage Week 7 July 2017
Both were unassisted and somewhat unplanned (I wasn't counting days, measuring LH etc...) and generally planned for a childless (and very happy) marriage.
OK - so tomorrow I find out all the diagnostics numbers together and get to start deciding on "The Preggo Plan"
Let's rock 2018 with babies!
UPDATE - 2/9/2018
Wow starting the process of fertility treatments is like a jet of water coming at you at 100mph.There are soooo many acronyms and just when I think I got a few, more pop up...AF - like sorry but I've NEVER called my period that and thought it was Assisted FertilityERA, IVF, IUI, FETAnd more....
The forums and internet have been really helpful for this.But the Glow coach has been awesome. I've felt confused and alone and then not sure if I should take the next step (or even quite clear what that is).I'll get a little email from my support coach and I unleash all the random stuff in my mind....and she's there and answers them. She jumps on a call with me and goes over what steps I'm doing, options I could take, how her personal experiences shaped what she sees, and of course deciphers the treatments and the costs.It's been 5 weeks from when I sent that email to the Glow Fertility team on Jan 1 (quite the new year resolution, right! The gym one hasn't worked out yet...)Jan 4 - initial consult with the supported clinic in my area (San Diego, FSMG) $99Came out with a long lists of tests to get done....some I was able to get done through my PCP (main doctor) to have insurance coverage but the majority I paid for.Ovarian Reserve - how many eggs I have in the tank per cycle (6 so am in the Fair category for my age at 39.5) $165Blood work panel for diseases (through PCP doctor / insurance) and fertility results like LH and FSHHubby Sperm Analysis and blood work (through PCP doctor / insurance) - results all good, but hilarious how much hubby makes ALL about him and the facts he has good swimmers. Letting him have it as I can see how hard this process is going to be on the men that have to sit on the sidelines and can't control that much here ...Fallopian Tubes test (Saline wash with an X-ray) $450Uterus ultrasound lining check with saline $500Had a microscope test for my uterus after the ultrasound as we saw small white unexplained items that were really small at 3-4mm, Not a definite reason for infertility, but also not going to help - so paid for this test to "do what it takes" for the best chances (this is above the standard diagnostic testing and not a cost you would expect) - $1200Feb 4 - all test result in and time to review with the Fertility doctor for the plan - $170Total in 5 weeks: $2,534 ($1,334 excluding my extra uterus test)Next installment: the choices I'm making for treatment and why!
UPDATE - 3/3/2018
Month 3 Update - Glow Fertility Program
Started The New Year with the Resolution to go do something about having more kids, natural was not working for 1 1/2 years and at age 39 1/2 age was going to become a factor faster than I would want. 1 miscarriage at 7 Weeks along the way and took 6 months of fertile window in the getting and being pregnant and the body to reset. That's not even the emotional heartbreak of loving something that early...
I was a member of Glow and decided to contact them to learn about the Fertility program.
See earlier posts for Jan and Feb (above)
3/3 month 3 and today I start IVF injections!!
All the baseline results came back normal. So in the end a result can only be "unexplained infertility" but really it's about the age. At age 39 70% of the eggs I have are abnormal as a rule, so chances are against me for the right egg to ,set the right sperm and magic to hold out. And having potential MC again when I could set myself up for odds that flip this around to 60-70% chance of IVF success (more later)....well I had to say yes.
MONEY!!!!!!!
They say money does not buy happiness, but it sure can grease the wheels! I had to sit down in Jan and decide with the hubby how much a baby is worth from our finances and lifestyle. How did we cut back, how much savings to use, and how many times would we come back? The number means we both committed and wouldn't then argue over "HOW MUcCH?!" Conversations in the future and gave a budget to shop around and plan to.
Our figure was $50,000.
This would give us 2x IVF egg retrieval cycles, PGS testing, a mock implantation cycle ERA, and a few FETs. Some wiggle room here but total so far with our clinic will be $42k with all the medications as well. Coming close to that budget.
70% Chance in IVF - No Way?!?!
I'm still a little skeptical of this number BUT the early research is supporting this. What's the path?
- Using ICSI, injecting the cleaned best sperm into the egg removes the motility and morphology issues
- Getting 5 day blastocysts and PGS, will weed out the 70% eggs that won't have made it in the womb...reducing those miscarriages that are so emotional and time consuming.
- Doing an ERA or mock-transfer. You take all the drugs as if implantation occurs, then they biopsy to see if this was optimum. It's suggested 10% women need a small change of +/- 1 day on transfer - but when you've spent all this time and money, it's another aspect to consider and in. Y clinic no extra charge, just extra time.
Getting these factors in order means a healthy womb has a 60-70% chance to take the embryo to a live birth, age is no longer a factor and science (and $$$$) giving us the best chances.
So Feb was paying for the first IVF cycle, starting the estrogen, preparing personal life to remove travel and stress, buying medications (went online and overseas on some of it to save $2k) and getting the baseline.
My Glow coach was more in the background this month but still essential, she helped get clarity on the finance costs from the clinic, pushed for more discounts, got them to take action when I was confused me thinking things were stalling, and sending me little encouraging facts....it's a support system I can call anytime and that takes a BIG weight off my mind in this complicated field.
3/3 - first IVF injections....onwards to making lots of follicles!
UPDATE - 3/9/2018
Update for me - day 7 of stims, I'm a slow starter they say, e2 started at 80 on day 3 and is at 150 on day 7. They are seeing 10 follicles total and I start the cetrotide this weekend. I'm going with the flow, Ot panicking at all those numbers you read on forums (but they are very very helpful to read), and know it's quality and not quantity! Realistic expectations of course to get 1-2 pass PGS and booked the next Ivf cycle to start April 7th.
UPDATE 4/11
Life has become split between Fertility and Other.
I've been obsessed for 2 months about fertility and was happy that March became more balanced (or the distraction of Other life came through)
First IVF cycle was a bad result. I got 7 eggs harvested which was the expected number and they were M2 quality suggesting all good. But Day 1 results showed that none fertilized and the eggs degraded with no hope of recovery. This happens in 1% of cases.
That call from the doctor was devastating, she talked about lots of factors. I tuned out and just felt very very sad. I planned for only 0-1 to get through past PGS but this result stopped before we even got to a blast point.
I had been obsessed on forums reading and following and joining in during the cycle, but this news just meant I needed to retreat for a while. Tune it all out and focus on the Other side of life.
A few days makes all the difference, so we met with the doctor and went over options. First IVF cycles are often considered a Learning cycle as you don't know how your body will respond to the various drugs and stimulations. That's a VERY expensive learning, but I had committed to a minimum.of 2 cycles to bank enough embryos.
So I'm on the IVF cycle 2 - switched to the Long cycle that is also called the Kitchen Sink approach. Doing a few weeks of priming the system with
testosterone and estrace before then starting the Stims on 4/18 with a change in drugs and adding in Human Growth Hormone (HGH).
Mentally I'm in a better place and know that fertility is a journey. It's going to take a while and bumps in the road will come. I've talked with the hubby about what's important and what we would consider (donor eggs, sperm, ...) As well as financially how many attempts we would try and making the changes in our spending to allow for it.
I'm thankful for a place to share this with others and read your stories, we are not alone, it's more common than we think, and having a community makes it a little less lonely on those bad days - and I'm looking forward to a successful cycle 2!
UPDATE 5/10
This is a MUCH happier update - finished IVF cycle 2 and on a better track than cycle 1!!
Cycle 1 ended in 7 eggs retrieved, 4 being mature BUT all eggs degenerated and did not fertilize…so I was left in pit of despair about if I could make good quality eggs...
This obviously creates a very bad emotional state. Self doubt on the state of my body, if there is anything I can do, and if not - and I willing to go to the next step of a donor egg so that the child gets some of the genetic material from the father?
We chose to do another Cycle and change up alot of the meds in the process to give us more data on my eggs. During Cycle 2, I just didn’t blog, read, or even think about the numbers. I just filled up my mind and time with everything else I could. A garden project, a new work project, playing games on my ipad. Anything to not get too invested into the cycle. Especially as the first few days results didn’t show anything different to cycle #1 - leading to the darker thoughts and choices that would have to be made about adding genetic future children.
My retrieval was on 5/4 and I knew I had some eggs but my estrogen level was not that high - so I was expecting the same problem to happen that the eggs were not great quality and would not fertilize.
BUT Day 1 I got the call that they had harvested 12 eggs, 10 were mature and ALL 10 fertilized!! OMG, the hope in my mind raised up so much. BUT I was still going to be very cautious and just plan for the unexpected calls later.
Day 3 → 10 were still going (2 were looking iffy, but still in play). WOW! Hope are rising…..
Day 5 → 5 were biopsied with 4 more being watched to Day 6
Day 6 → 3 of the 4 left made it to biopsy - so a total of 8 embryos are going to PGS testing!!!
What a difference Cycle 2 results were (touch wood as we need the PGS testing results which will be 10 days) - but I am feeling in a much more hopeful place right now that in 2018 we will have a bun in the oven!
Keep sharing your stories and give the Glow team feedback - Gunce is incredible for me. She seems to be reading my mind and sends me little notes that let me know what I feel is normal, and there is a light in the future.
UPDATE 7/1
Happy July everyone, 7 months in on the IVF journey. Here's the update since Cycle 2.
Cycle 2 was so much better than cycle 1.
12 Eggs Retrieved / 10 Fertilized / 8 Made it to Biopsy for PGS Testing
PGS Results --> 1 Normal PGS / 6 Abnormal / 1 Unreadable
Hooray!!! We have 1 good chance of being pregnant - and we also found out the gender, a little GIRL! Makes it so much more real when you have the gender, we already started the debate on names.
We also got to see the full report of reason for abnormalities - I was reading up on latest science and articles that some deformities are worse than others. In our case, they were all incompatible with life.
What's next? Another IVF cycle....uuurggh
We committed to 3 cycles thinking we would get 1 PGS normal per cycle and get 3 to be able to implant and have 2 possible future children. And that was also to our budget of $50,000.
So Cycle 3 has been done, just had the retrieval yesterday 6/30 - 9 eggs retrieved, and Day 1 call is that 4 fertilized. The cycle was a bit iffy and we almost had to switch to IUI, but glad we proceeded and hoping that we get another PGS normal here.
Final choice is if we do Cycle 4? We both agreed yes, but also said this is going to be the final cycle so we can move forward to implantation. It's been 7 months and on one hand that is so short in a fertility journey, but in another, life outside of IVF changes with jobs, moving etc... and we have to try and factor in possible
pregnancy here too.
Oh the joys of life!
I also was asked by GLOW team to be part of a video that they are putting out there about a woman's journey, so give me a wave if you see it. (And for the cynical ones, I did not get paid or any discounts for it, it is just my way of sharing a story thats important for other women to hear so we know it's normal what we go through to add to our family.)
Baby wishes and hugs to us all.
Sorry
for the long delay, non IVF life been busy, and I’m on a long protocol
that means it’s at least 6 weeks before I can start another cycle.
Cycle
3 had 3 embryos in the freezer. I was waiting to batch with cycle 4 for
PGS testing to say the $4,500 cost. But I kept getting chased to pay
for this from Glow and the clinic and was not understanding what was
going on. After several days and emails and phone calls, it turns out
the cost saving was only going to be ~$2k because I had to pay the
clinic for their cost of taking the biopsy. So I thought I’d take the
financial hit and pay the full amount to get them tested before Cycle 4
started. Then found out they had already tested them!! Hence they knew
the results and wa Ted me to pay, but I didn’t even know! This mistake
had a good ending - 1 PGS normal girl!!!!!
So a total of 2PGS normal, both girls, in the freezer.
Cycle
4 has now started, I Am On Day 5 of Stims. I chose to do this because
I’d like to have the chance to have multiple babies, and also because
the PGS normal does not guarantee a baby, so banking as many as I can do
upfront. I have a personal situation that has a schedule allowing for
this now, but won’t be the case in 2019.
Total
cost is in a spreadsheet but easily at the $50k mark and will go higher
when we do the transfer and implant process. But if multiple babies
come from this then the average cost per child will balance it out...at
least that’s what i need to tell myself. And as I juggle the credit card
and savings balance each month, I think how much I’ll be able to save
after this IVF process.
Emotionally
ok, I have had to find a way to relax and trust the process. That it
takes longer than you want. Money helps but can’t make nature go beyond a
certain point. And been enjoying child number 1 who at age 2 is at such
a fun age, she is a real person and interacts with wonder and joy at
the smallest thing. Which makes me do that too. So I’m off to go search
for snails and ladybugs in the garden....
Onwards in cycle 4 and then Sep/Oct towards preparing to implant one of the embryos!
Update 10/12
So Cycle 4 finished. Retrieval was great with 13 eggs and then found that 10 fertilized! Was hopeful we'd have plenty to get to blastocyst and send off for testing.
Day 5 we got told that only 1 made it at grade 5 AA and there was 1 possible that might hang on. It did finally make a blastocyst at Day 7 but the grade was not great at a 4B-B-
We sent them off for testing and the result - 1 PGS normal! Of course the one that was normal was the lower grade version, but I was happy as a PGS normal is what matters, right?
Well, the doctor sat us down and said that the chances of success with the lower grade, even though normal, will be at around 40% vs a 60-70% chance with a higher grade PGS normal embryo.
urrgggghhh!
So after 4 cycles --> 3 PGS normals in the bank, 2 are good quality and 1 is borderline.
Choices, Choices, Choices. Lots of long walks with hubby to decide about our future. What's important. When. How. I can imagine any couple going through this journey has these chats a lot. Scenarios played out. Hopes and fears.
Our decision, get to our goal of 4 PGS normal embryos before moving to transfer. We've got the time this year that has allowed us (or rather me) to do this rollercoaster. Then we can be done and just build the family, as every year the chances of IVF success as I age drop significantly. So banking up what I can gives us the chance of future family members. And although we'd love to believe that all the embryos will implant, we have to plan with the information available about the chances of success not being 100%.
So cycle 5 is underway, first the priming for a few weeks and then stims start next week.
Decided to add in acupuncture in this round. Have never done this before but saw it mentioned a few times in fertility groups and read some papers on it. It helps with bloodflow and of course, stress, which the emotional side of this process will always enjoy.
I've never mentioned, but I have been on a vitamin regime for over 1 year that includes the standard multivitamin, folate, coq10 and iron as well as acai berry and vitamin d. I also add juicing into the diet to balance out more fruit & veggies. And of course, the usual no
alcohol, although caffeine is my friend and that's a hard thing to give up!
Emotionally I'm more at peace that this is a "marathon and not a sprint" and heard so many stories from others about how long it took them, the choices they had to make, the twists and turns they went on. I know there will be an addition to the family in the future, and I'm taking the steps to get there, empowered by the technology we have today in assisted fertility, whilst wondering what it will be like in 20 years from now...
UPDATE 11/28
Happy Holidays, depending on what stage you are at in your fertility journey this time of year can be joyful or sucky.
I'm fairly open about doing IVF with friends so every visit is about retelling the steps so far, the hurdles, and educating on the many many steps it takes to get to the final stage of saying "yes I'm pregnant"
So - finished Cycle 5 with the strongest retrieval ever - 18 eggs, 17 mature!! Was feeling excited and hopeful that this would be the last cycle to move to the next stage, and have lots of embryos to send for PGS testing.
Turned out 3 made it to blastocyst stage....and 1 PGS normal. Phew!
I did want to share the variety in the cycles I've had, it's about quality and not quantity, and we've been fortunate for a total of 4 PGS normals in 5 cycles.
Cycle 1: 7 eggs, 7 mature, 0 fertilized
Cycle 2: 12 eggs, 10 mature, 10 fertilized, 8 blastocyst, 1 PGS Normal
Cycle 3: 9 eggs, 8 mature, 4 fertilized, 3 blastocyst, 1 PGS Normal
Cycle 4: 12 eggs, 11 mature, 10 fertilized, 2 blastocyst, 1 PGS Normal
Cycle 5: 18 eggs, 17 mature, 11 fertilized, 3 blastocyst, 1 PGS Normal
After the first cycle I was in a big mental funk, unsure if we'd be able to produce something to get to testing. But Cycle 2 gave me hope and just meant that it was going to take time and money (both of which are finite).
So we reached the goal to go to the next step - putting them in and getting pregnant. Still very cautious as our odds are higher with PGS normal embryos, and then there is the whole first trimester to get through.
But it is a VERY nice feeling to take into the holidays that we are one step closer to having a new family member.
Next steps - we are doing the ERA (mock process) to test the receptivity and timing of implanting an embryo and also another Water test to look at my uterus in depth - as it has been nearly 1 year and things may have changed with all the drugs I've taken this year. I don't expect any issues....but we all know this road is never straightforward.
So if we get the all clear then we put in 1 embryo in early January. All the embryos are girls, so that makes family planning and choices easier, and we are planning to start with the highest grade first to give us the best chance of success.
Please all be kind to yourself over the holiday season - share the process with friends that are caring and supportive, and find ways to
nurture your soul when needed with all the holiday events and tv specials (although I can't wait for the Hallmark movies, such a sucker for those!)
Happy Holidays and Looking forward to a Pregnant 2019!
Update 12/20 - Transfer Date Confirmed!
I've got feelings of relief that we are finally able to put something in and wait to be pregnant. And I've got feelings of nervousness of what might happen, or not happen. And then it's mixed in with feelings of excitement and then me tempering the excitement with cautious optimism only.
Then I distract myself with life for as long as I can. And then it all repeats.
I had the ERA (mock cycle to test receptiveness) and found out I am pre-receptive, so will need 1 extra day of the meds before implantation. The doctor also did a new SHG (water test to look at my uterus) because it was 11 months ago and things may have changed. We took a look, took a photo, and all looks good.
Happy we tested, so we can say we did everything we could towards giving the transfer the best shot. Now in the final week preparing, starting the progesterone shots in a couple of days and then transfer planned on 12/27.
And this time if year means reflecting on the year, the wisdom we gained, the sadness we endured, and the hope we learned comes in so many ways and forms. I will add all this onto the 10 day wait after the transfer being cautiously optimistic towards some good news in the beta.
Happy Holidays to us all!
UPDATE 1/4/2019 - I'M PREGNANT
Happy new year all! I got the call just a minute ago to tell me my
HCG levels was 38 so am officially pregnant!!!
Phew! The emotional wreck I have become in the past 9 days is crazy. I never understood the 2WW stories and back in the years before IVF waiting for a period I definitely felt heightened.....but after a year of IVF with all the money, time, emotion, and hope rolled in....this wait just seemed neverending.
The transfer process was simple compared to the retrievals. Like back, take a valium, spread the legs, watch a screen for the "flash" when it is released through the catheter, and done.
I got a picture of the embryo (grade 5AA, the best one we had from Cycle 3 in July) and of the uterus too where only I can see the little pinpoint of a drop where that embryo sat on my lining.
It was also like a little family of support too - because all the nurses, embryologists, and the
RE had seen me all year around and they all really care and want to see their patients succeed. It's a subtle thing but has made me feel more loyal to the process and trust that a team is working to get me pregnant.
POAS - to pee or not to pee on a stick?
So my original plan was not to test as I was going in for the blood test on Day 9, on the early side for most doctors but they understand the weekend would be a killer for patients like me. Great doctors and staff!!!
However, in searching through the bathroom cabinets I saw I had about 10
pregnancy test kits from over a year ago before I started IVF. 2 we're the "early result version" and the rest was the cheapie dollar store tests.
So I said "might as well use them" and that of course is the start of the slope....I started on Day 3 knowing it would not show a positive, but gave me a feeling of a small sense of control in this process and that "what if" feeling you have when you do a lottery scratch card....you know the odds are you will not win....but just maybe....
That cycle led me to read up on the sensitivity of the tests, the cheapie ones need a HCG levels of over 50 in your urine (which will be much h weaker than blood) and the early response tests claim to read at a 10 HCG level.
So I bought 7 more early tests and just kept peeing in the wee hours of the morning when I wake up.....nothing came up...and at day 7 I started to get nervous.....
Did I have any symptoms? Yes
Day 3 was a major cramp day that put me in bed bent over with a warmer. And day 6 was a migraine through the night so bad I have only experienced 1x in my life before.
So in those painful moments I took it as the signals that my body was working for me to get pregnant.
Day 8 came along and I POAS, it was 1am and dark and I waited 1 minute and walked away sad and starting to prepare mentally for a no.
But I took another test at 6pm with my husband - because I felt bad that it was this little secretive thing I was doing in the wee hours and the poor guy is just as nervous as me!
And I brought the stick out to the kitchen and walked away....then he started screaming "I see a line!"
Pictures galore were taken and we celebrated that small moment together as a family.
And the blood work today gave us an extra yes with the YES.
Caution - I am happy to have finally got to this stage, but we all know that early
pregnancy has it's risks. They are a little lower with my PGS tested embryo, but so many things in the body at the 6-8 week stage can happen.
So good thoughts everyone, I've got a few weeks to go for the next sigh of relief, but one major goal has been reached.....all because last new year's
eve I pressed that button on Glow to say "learn more about the Glow Fertility program"
Big hugs and onwards we go!
UPDATE 2/5 - Made it to 8 weeks pregnant!
Hey everybody, since that POAS moment in January, life seems to have just been sooooo slow.
Everyday I get more of the symptoms like nausea, sore boobs, and being tired. And I'm happy because these mean the
pregnancy is doing what it needs to do.
But I still have a little voice inside that wonders if it will last, if this week won't turn into next week. Counting down weeks until trimester 2 when I can feel more in a safe zone.
At week 6 we had the key ultrasound, seeing there was a little embryo and a heartbeat!!! That was a major relief! Especially as I had bleeding and major cramping 2 days before!!
Today was the 8 week ultrasound and little bean is much bigger (the size of a raspberry or something..) and a good strong heartbeat.
I switch from the RE to an OB at week 10. It will be a graduation party at the RE office but I'll be sad because it's been a big emotional (and financial) part of my life for a whole year.
Finances are so nice when I don't have to plan every spare penny to go to fertility. It's like I can save again for other life events....like putting this kid through college!
Mentally feeling the
pregnancy phase coming through which is strangely familiar from baby girl who keeps growing up fast.
So overall, a sense of calm coming through in all parts of life. Let's all pray for this to be an uneventful
pregnancy!!
UPDATE - 3/13 - Made it to 2nd Trimester!
Hello Glow Friends! I am officially in trimester 2 at 14 weeks.
It feels great to be at this point, it's a long emotional journey to get pregnant for the infertility crowd, and we never know what's around the corner. I know that nothing is guaranteed by reaching trimester 2, but the chances of problems are much lower and I just have to know trust in being pregnant.
So last few weeks....
The RE brought me in every 2 weeks (week 4, 6, 8, 10) to check the fetus growth. I held my breath at week 4 and 6 and then relaxed more into week 8 and 10.
I "graduated" from the fertility clinic at week 10 - and it was nice that all the nurses and RE doctors and support staff came and said hello, congratulated me, and of course wanted to get updates along the way. I said I'd waddle in in the last few week of
pregnancy when I'm big and round (and grumpy!) in the hot summer months.
Then onto the real world of OBGYN and medical. This is all covered by my insurance, so have to say my personal finances are seeing a nice gain where I'm not saving and cutting things to put it towards big fertility bills! It's a lovely relief, and I know I am fortunate to have been able to have paid for the treatment in the first place - our insurance system needs to catch up!
The real medical world takes their time, are booked up, and keep you on phone call lines with dodgy music for what feels like an eternity. I finally got into a nurse check "to confirm I am pregnant" and then the genetic trimester 1 testing.
That all happened last week - with the Neucal test and NIPT - and all clear! I was not too worried because this is a PGS tested embryo which is over 90% chance of success in the genetic side. But it only tests the outside of the embryo and not the fetus area. So, these results just added another reassurance.
Now, I just get to relax into being pregnant. OK, it's not very relaxing. I'm SO grateful to be pregnant, but the symptoms are not things I can cheer about and say hooray on. Constant nausea, headaches, heartburn, peeing 4 times a night, hormones, and the growing stomach....it all reminds me of what this is for, to grow our family, so I just focus on that and be happy.
I'll update again at the halfway point in Week 20, that's only 6 weeks away, or less than 1 full IVF retrieval cycle for me, so when I think of this
pregnancy in those terms, it seems to help me pass the time in chunks of infertility life which was just SO much of my life for the past 2 years.
Thanks to Glow, my RE & team, and the community that gets me through this journey!
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