So I have 3 children, 10, 6, and 17 months. Last summer after taking a year off for my son, I decided to switch majors and go back to school. I was accepted into a great program for Health information technology and management and was all on track to graduate in May of 2019 and and marry my wonderful fiancé the following June. Here comes my little hiccup. We learned a few weeks ago that I'm pregnant again and due in September! I just quit breasfeeding 2 months ago and hadnt gotten on full strength birth control yet (my appt was this month). There was always plans for another baby down the road when I was closer to graduating and me and the SO were married. I'll be honest there was a brief moment when I thought of being selfish and terminating the pregnancy. We're still paying on loans from my youngest's birth, I work full time, my SO's current jobs doesnt pay very well, I go to school full time, all the while trying to maintain a household 4 plus myself. I felt like I was 17 again, carrying this wonderful being inside me with no idea of how I am going to make it all work. I couldn't live with the idea of constantly wondering if I made the right choice and of who my child could have been. So, for the time being my plan is to attempt to keep my plans moving forward. To work, to go to school, and have my 4th and final baby. I don't know how I will do it all and the thought of a newborn amongst my already busy life terrifies me. The regret of my son not getting more time as the baby fills my heart with sarrow. But hey I could have prevented this better than I had so why am I so surprised? I knew the risks right? Thanks for listening to me I needed to get that all out and off my chest.