I have been pregnant 3 times. Only one was successful. All those 3 times I got pregnant right away.

The third time we conceived was exactly a year ago. 4 months in we had to have a termination for medical reasons.

When my cycles went back to normal after about 2 months.. we started trying. So its been 8 months of trying now and nothing.

I spoke to my friend because I’m just so sad... she said it’s probably because I’m older now (I just turned 30) and just because I’ve been pregnant before.. doesn’t mean I will get pregnant again. Her mum tried for a third and never caught so that’s maybe what’s happening to me.

Af arrived today (a day early) and again I thought it was my month.

Now I’m in bed literally uncontrollably crying with my friends words going round my head and thinking my little boy will never have a sibling and il never have my rainbow :,(

Sorry. I just needed a safe place to off load x