Broken hearted

Although I'm not actively ttc, my AF came today. I broke down. There was such a large part of me that wanted it to be so bad. For so many years I just wanted to wait until the right time now that I was faced with the possibility I was hit with an overwhelming feeling of wanting so bad to be pregnant. I literally broke down. My so doesn't get it. He wants children but not now. It just hurts more because of how I feel right now and he can't be on the same level as I am. How do I get passed this and move on?