Worst mom ever

So I had my sonogram today. I have a healthy baby boy growing in there! I'm beyond blessed to know the baby is healthy and everything looks perfect. However this is my last child and I was so hoping for a girl. I have such guilt now because I can't help but cry all day. I feel like I'm mourning the loss of a dream, I always wanted s sister, had two brothers. Was never close to my mom. So wanted to have a little girl of my own to have that special bond with. Now knowing that it won't happen I feel so sad, and so guilty for that sadness. I wish I could just be overjoyed but I'm just not right now.