Hurt & happy

Ana
So I had twin boys at 30 weeks on January of 2014...I had planned the perfect baby shower but postponed it twice, once because I was admitted at 26 weeks due to contractions & dilation but they were able to stop my labor however, I had to stay there because I was at 5cm already & the second time, because I went into labor 3-4 days before....so I had my babies & everything was great...baby b was about to get discharged about 20 days after but on that 20th day, he got super sick, caught NEC & passed away within hours :/
Baby a got sick too but he made it(: but since our other baby passed away, I did nog want any babyshower at all because I believe they bring me bad luck & reminds me of what happened :/
For me, that babyshower was so perfectly planned & I was super excited :/
I'm now 15 weeks pregnant, starting the progesterone shots next week & I really do want a babyshower but  super scared that it might bring me bad luck again & scared of having another preemie :/ 
What do u guys think?