Hello Ladies, I was wondering if anybody is dealing with a similar situation and how you overcame it.

My Fiance and I have been together for four years. When we met, I was extremely unhealthy - I would refuse to eat for days at a time, because I was always the big girl. It became so bad, that I had bones sticking out everywhere, I was happy with that. Nobody else was - including him. I was also in a really bad space when I met him, I had just come out of an abusive relationship and had an attempted suicide fail. He was my saving grace, he still is. After months of getting better, the cute things started, we'd go out for dinner almost every night, chocolates, cooldrink, movies, snacks etc. I started gaining weight. Quickly at that.

Four years later, I'm fat. Like really, really fat. I try my best to make healthy eating decisions, stay active, I've cut sugar out, I try to cook as healthy as I possibly can and I stay as active as I can.

Now, the biggest problem. I'm so self concious about my looks and my weight, that I don't even take my shirt off when we get intimate, I don't want to leave mt house and worst of all; I don't want to be seen out in public with my fiance, I'm terrified I embarrass him. I don't want to go with him to his family, becayse they always make rude remarks about me and my body, I don't want to go to dinner with his work collegues when we are invited because I'm afraid I look so bad, embarrass him because of it, I'm afraid to order because what if people think I'm a slob etc, etc.

My fiance doesn't know how I feel, he knows I have massive body issues and he is always supportive and tells me I'm pretty, he loves my body etc. But when you've been with someone a while, it kinda feels like he is obliged to say that and he is just used to me - not attracted to me.

I don't know how to put it into words really, but do any of you have some advice?

TL:DR: I'm fat and ugly AF and I'm mortified. 😅😔