feeling feelings I apparently shouldn't

My job has stopped giving me hours for three weeks now. I have a 478 a month car payments/insurance, phone bill, cable bill and gas for the car. All that has now been put on to the boyfriend shoulders which means he now pays cable, two phone bills, his truck payments/insurance, heat Bill, water Bill, power Bill, land taxes, and my car payments/insurance. it kills me that I can't help but I've been applying to jobs every week online in person. ive went to career connections to get help. I'm looking into getting welfare for the time being. all this is eatting me up inside, I feel useless helpless I feel like a failure cause I can't help. all I'm good for is cleaning a house that doesn't get overly dirty so I clean it every three days, brush the dogs which is hard cause he doesn't stay calm for me. I have all week and 24 hours to do things but it's not enough. my bf thinks cause my life is paid for by others I shouldn't feel feelings that I'm just being stupid. I think I might be ready to leave him. I don't need to be called stupid for having feelings