Postpartum depression in hubby?
Hi ladies! Bear with me cause this is super long. Also please read all of it before commenting and no insulting/unnecessarily negative comments will be acknowledged. Does anyone have experience with postpartum depression in husbands? Is that a thing?
So we had our beautiful son 10 weeks ago. The entire pregnancy my hubby was fantastic! Super helpful and excited (but also stressed about finances etc). When my son was born, my hubby was the first to hold him and do skin to skin because I had to be put under for my c section. He was SO in love with the baby, fawning over him and showing pics/telling everyone and interacting with him at home and was a textbook amazing husband postpartum too!
Well now, my hubby seems super disconnected and depressed. He barely talks to me or anyone during the day, he has started sleeping all the time on his weekends, and rarely interacts with Logan now. When he does, he will interact for a few minutes and then he just holds him and stares at his phone or the tv.
I have tried to talk to him and he says he is fine and that he just was having a hard time adjusting to not being able to “do anything anymore like I and you used to” which makes no sense because literally nothing has changed for him at home aside from occasional bottle getting (literally like twice a day at max), a few diaper changes, and some extra expenses (I do everything else, plus help pay, and still make sure he gets to sleep at least 8-9 hrs especially when he works). He might take care of Logan like 2-3hrs max in a 24hr period. (I get up with the baby, feed/change, and play with him whenever he is awake).
Before the comments start: No he isn’t having an affair or anything (he is 110% faithful) and yes, I have had him get out of the house and go do stuff with the guys from work and video game so he gets time for himself. Whenever he has asked to do something or mentioned wanting to go to a movie with his buddies, I haven’t had any issue with it and he has gone.
I asked him about us and he reaffirmed his love for both me and the baby and said he is just struggling adjusting. When I mentioned that we should get a babysitter so we could go out and such, he said that we are fine together and our marriage is great but it’s no longer about us until Logan is grown out of the house...so we don’t need to invest time for us as a couple, that we will be just fine cause he loves me to pieces and that will never change so it’s all about Logan now. Which I know it’s about him, but as a couple you also need to nourish your marriage together 😔 He seems to be taking everything to the extreme with being a parent and it’s stressing him out of his brain and making him miserable it looks like but when I try to casually talk about it, he shuts off.
He is still an amazing husband, super kind and I know he loves me and Logan because it shows (just very subdued right now compared to before) and he tells me all the time. He just seems SO depressed 24/7 and I don’t know what to do 🙁 I worry about him. He told me from the day we met he wanted kids and reaffirms all the time that he is SO ecstatic to have Logan. He said he just wishes he would have mentally prepared prior to the baby coming (which I also tried to do with him while pregnant but he just kept saying he wasn’t worried and everything would be awesome).
Our beautiful son:
Let's Glow!
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.