Tonight my 3 year old step son told me he loved me, and then asked me for a baby brother. He literally asked if we could go to the store and buy one tonight 😂 Mind you, we’ve had my 4 month old nephew over a lot since he’s been born so he’s really used to having a baby around!

My heart exploded with happiness, and then shattered into a million tiny pieces.

The first of the year, we stopped trying. This year would have been 2 years of us trying with zero luck. We’ve been through every type of medical help that we could possibly afford, and nothing. We’ve been so stressed/disappointed every month when my period came and it just finally got to be too much for us. Mostly me. He wanted to keep trying awhile longer... but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t keep putting me and us through that.

If I didn’t feel like a failure before, I sure do tonight 😪