ARE YOU TRYING?? THE DREADED QUESTION😢

Question

so long story short I'm 35 and have been trying for about 2.5 years. We have done all testing and have unexplained infertility. After 4 failed iui's we are now saving for ivf. I stopped telling anyone I was trying a while ago,because it's too painful to talk about. So one of my good friends moved away probably 5 years ago that was not trying at all just found out she is pregnant, she wasn't even with the guy that long. I am very happy for her so I texted her to congratulate her. so today she texted me a cute picture of her baby bump and I told her how cute she looked. the reply I get back is thanks and ARE YOU TRYING. I honestly don't know how to answer. she doesn't know my struggle and I don't want to lie. I am honestly debating on just not replying at all. I was immediately upset when she texted me that so I really don't know what to do.Any advice???

Answer

Also 35 and been trying for 2.5 years. Failed frozen embryo transfer. It's really hard when everyone you know is getting   pregnant and no one seems to know the struggles of getting pregnant just seems to come easy. Keep being happy for other people but he hurts inside

Answer

Yup just happened to me. I am 31 and my friend is 37. She literally has been smoking and drinking and doing cocaine most of her adult life and had an IUD since she was 16. and she got married a few months ago, stopped, got her iud removes and got pregnant on her first try. So now she’s asking me if I’m trying and I say “we have a lot going on right now so we are going to see how this year goes and possible start then.” 
Normally I don’t care but she’s super obnoxious about it and sends me up to date ultrasounds on text all the time I’m like ok I get it yourepregnant lol

Answer

I also just turned 35, we’ve been married for almost 5.5 years and trying for 2.5 years and I feel very similarly to you. I’ve only told people I’m close to that we’re trying and they know better than to push for details. I am a very private person so when I get comments and questions from people that don’t know what I’m going through I “simply” joke them away, say no and/or change the subject. I think most people our age are now socially educated enough to know what’s appropriate to ask and what isn’t. But try not to let it get to you too much :( I know it’s salting the wound but you have to remember that it’s usually not their intention.

Answer

I'm sorry you're going through this ((hugs)). Your friend doesn't know your struggles, if you just don't reply to her she still won't know. If you want to share with her I would call her to inform her. I'm sure she never meant to be insensitive.

ARE YOU TRYING?? THE DREADED QUESTION😢

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